Moving Forward
by bestiewritters
Summary: Amelia and 16yr old daughter Valentina have to move forward and leave their past in L.A behind and start over in Seattle will they be able to move forward Guys read the Authors note and review it Important!
1. Chapter 1

_Authors note: hey guys so this is not a first chapter for this story but I do want you guys to help me make decision I'm planning to write a story focusing on Amelia but I can't decide who she should be with which is where you guys come in now you have a choice of having Ryan not die from the drug overdose but rather he stays alive and they stay together or I can write it with him being dead like the original plot line and have her with Owen so if you guys could please review and make a choice and the one that has the most votes is who she ends up with I have a storyline for both characters and I will explore the stories that I feel the show has yet to address and I will hopefully have the first chapter up on Wednesday Australia time thank you so much and please review as you will be doing me a huge favour xxx_


	2. Chapter 2

_Authors note: Hey guys firstly I would like to thank everyone who reviewed you guys helped me out so much now after much debate and taking everyone's votes into account I have decided that for this story I have use Ryan he fit's the bill much better than Owen and the storylines I want to address would better suited to Ryan however to make it up to those who wanted me to use Owen I have decided to write a second story called blended and for that story it totally fits Omelia and is much better for Owen's character I plan to start writing that story tomorrow hopefully anyways guys please review my story as it helps me out a lot and I hope you enjoy it._

As she walked out from the gates of seaside high school it dawned on Valentina that this would probably be the last time she walk through those gates and as much as she would miss the school she was more than ready to leave L.A and start over in Seattle she wanted to put everything that happened here behind her and start over at a school where no one would know about her mum and Ryan's drug addiction. Just thinking about him sent shivers down her spine she wanted to be supportive of her mum's impending marriage but considering the fact that Ryan's greatest ambition in life was him finally getting his life in order and him not being a pill head anymore it didn't do much to ease her concerns. She often wished her mum would pick men who weren't wild, insane or addicted to drugs but this was Amelia Shepherd she knew her mum far to well to know that would never be the case it often made her think of herself and how much she was like her mum a party animal, popular, pretty and most importantly always mixing with the wrong crowd, hell she even used her mum's techniques when it came to picking up men, but seeing her mum fall so far down and how bad her and Ryan's addiction to drugs was made her really evaluate her choice's in life. The thing that Valentina Shepherd wanted to escape from the most was the night she was raped that night would forever haunt her and a night that never wanted to tell a soul she knew she should have been tested for STD's but it was far to painful for her to think about and every reputable doctor in L.A knew her mum and so she couldn't risk it, putting those thoughts out of her mind she headed over to her aunt Addison's car and left the school for the last time.

"Hey Val how was your last day of school?"

"It was alright aunt Addie I mean at least people weren't talking about me, mum or Ryan as much but the staring was still the same honestly I'm just glad that I am leaving I can't wait to start over fresh and not have to deal with the whispering and gossip from people and I get to see Sam and uncle Derek and Aunt Meredith and Zola and Bailey."

"Have you spoken to your Grandma or your Aunts Val?"

"No they made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with me or mum for that matter an they haven't been around for the last 16 years of my life I don't need them now and mum certainly doesn't need them we've tried reaching out to them and it's clear that they'll always think mum is nothing more than a burden for them we have our family and as sad as it is we are probably better off for it." 

Addison just looked at her niece sympathetically she heard from Samantha how good it was to hear from her grandma and how much she missed her while she was glad that her daughter had that relationship with Carolyn, Nancy, Kathleen and Lizzie she could not help but feel for Valentina and Amelia while Valentina probably would never admit it Addison knew how much it hurt her not to have the kind of relationship. It always angered Addison about how poorly they treated them but she was eternally grateful that Derek never gave up on his sister or her daughter but she knew the same could not be said for Ryan, Addison knew how much Derek did not like the him and how he thought that Ryan was nothing more than a deadbeat but in the end all she wanted was for her niece to be happy and at peace with her life and she hoped that moving would provide her that peace. They arrived at the beach house where Amelia and Ryan were waiting for them she parked the car and the two of them headed towards the Airport.

"Hey princess how was school?"

"It was hard but I don't know I feel relieved now I think accepting the fact that I will no longer be there anymore made it a lot easier and just knowing the fact that I no longer have deal with all of the gossiping certainly makes me feel relieved what about you mum are you ready to start your new job at Grey Sloan?"

"Yeah I am I think moving is really going to helps us move forward in life and I get to be closer to my brother and that makes me really happy and three of can finally start our lives over as a family and heal from everything that has happened and Valentina I know I haven't said this as often as I should but I'm so proud of you for how you have turned out and for not abandoning me when I got back onto the drugs even though I gave every reason to, I love you more than life it's self Val and you, Ryan and everyone else in our family is what kept me going and made me determined to get sober so that I could be a better mum to you."

"Your mum is right Val you know if we ever have a daughter I would hope that she would be like you and your mum and I know how worried you are about me and you have every right to be worried after every thing that has happened but I promise I just want to love your mum and make her the happiest women on earth."

"Thank you both and Ryan I know you love my mum and that's why I'm going to try and trust it'll be difficult because I've never had proper father figure in my life but if you are going to be apart of lives I have to try and trust you and forgive you for everything."

While it was true Valentina wanted try and trust him for her mum she really didn't know how to the men in her life have been so inconsistent that Valentina never really knew how to trust someone who was more or less going to be a father figure and apart from her uncle not man stayed around long enough for her to even have a proper father figure.

For Amelia though every time she looked at her daughter it was a constant reminder of how lucky she was to have such a beautiful and sweet girl but tore her to pieces knowing the amount of pain and suffering she had put her daughter through over the years and all she wanted was to move forward and make it up to Valentina and be the mum kind of mum and have the kind of relationship she only wished she had with her mum. While she really didn't miss her mum much and never really blamed her for how she felt about her it angered her so much that she was treat her granddaughter this way and not even try to attempt to have some kind of bond with her, as for her sisters she was glad that they weren't apart of Val's life she didn't want her daughter being more hurt and suffer more than what she has. They soon arrived at the airport and Amelia knew it was time to say goodbye to Addison and her life in L.A and start over her life in Seattle and tell her daughter that she was pregnant she knew Val would be happy considering that she always wanted a younger sibling but Amelia wanted to find the right time to tell her daughter but it was time for the four of them to move forward as a family. Saying their goodbyes to Addison the three of them headed to plane for Seattle ready to move forward and start over.

 _Authors note: I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter and I hope to have the second chapter uploaded within a few days along with the second story anyways please review and let me know what you all think. xxx_


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors note: Hello guys first off I would like thank all of you for your comments and reviews it makes me happy that you guys like and ready them really does help me out tremendously, now to answer MerDer2015's question Samantha is Addison and Derek's daughter she lives in Seattle with Meredith and Derek and plays a huge part in this story with Valentina, also in all of my stories Derek will be alive because in my story world Derek Shepherd_ cannot be dead _and finally quick disclaimer I don't own any of the characters from Grey's or private practise those rights go to CBS and Shonda Rhimes I only own those that I make up in my story now that's out of the way I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter._

After three hours the trio finally touched down in Seattle to say that Amelia was nervous about Derek's initial opinion of Ryan would be an understatement she knew that her brother did not like him at all and Amelia figured that Derek being insistent on them staying at the dream house was so that he could observe Ryan and ensure that he wasn't, going to be a danger to Amelia, Valentina, Meredith or the kids. While she understood Derek's opinion on Ryan considering what he initially heard from Addison did not make Ryan sound like the type of guy you would want around your family she hoped that once he really got to know Ryan his opinion of him would begin to change, as it was important to Amelia that Derek and Meredith would be accepting of him considering that Derek is the only biological family that she had that cared about her or Valentina.

"You seem nervous Amelia are you ok?"

"Yeah I am because I know how Derek is going to be towards you and it makes me nervous that it is a real possibility that he won't see the good that is within you and the he won't see what I see in you and I need him to he's the only one in family who loved me and my daughter enough to never give up on us."

"Amelia I know that you're worried about his initial reaction and there is no denying it that he will undoubtedly hate me after all he is well within his rights to, because to him I'll always be the person that got you back onto Oxy and so we just have to prove to him that I am not as bad as what I seem and we have to show them that we truly love each other and that we have no plans on getting back onto the drugs and that I'm not a danger to anyone in the family."

"I know and we will."

 _Meanwhile at the arrivals terminal_

Derek Shepherd could not help but pace around the airport back and forth for today was the day he would be meeting Ryan Kerrigan the man who by all accounts was nothing more than some deadbeat drug addict that was now engaged to his sister and would soon be the step-father to his niece Valentina as he stared at his phone he couldn't help but scroll into his photo's and look at the photo of his sister, niece and eldest daughter happy and smiling he loved his sister and niece more than anything and would do anything to protect them he always felt like he had to protect Amelia more than anything . This feeling became more prominent when their father was murdered before their very eyes and when Amelia first got hooked onto the drugs and almost died as well when she gave birth to his niece Valentina. As he stared at her beautiful face he couldn't help but feel immense sorrow towards her, she in her 16 years has had to do so much growing up and experience things that no 16 year old should ever witness it also saddened him so much that the rest of his family held so much love towards his daughter Sam yet were unable to hold that same love for Valentina. She was the innocent one in all of this chaos and it just seemed unfair to him that she should have suffered all that she had and yet despite all of the pain that beautiful girl has been through, the amount of strength and courage she displayed was more than words could ever describe but it occurred to him that while she may be brave and tough on the outside he knew that on the inside that girl was a mess and the fact that she never fell of the wagon even though realistically she should have astounded him and only served to remind him the proof of her strength and bravery. He knew that Valentina had no real father figure in her life and to him the minute she was born he knew that he would have to be the father figure in her life and as best as he could he always tried to make sure his presence was enough for her to get an idea of what having a father figure would be and he hoped she could look up to him in that way. Even though he knew that some of the choices Valentina had made throughout her life were the ones that were less than ideal he could never really blame her for making those choices, after all seeing your mum go through a 12 day bender and thinking that her mum was dead somewhere was only naturally going to cause her make few bad choices he looked over at his phone and saw the time he knew that the three of them would be coming to the terminal shortly, he looked over at Meredith and Sam and saw the worried and anxious expressions over their faces and knew that were feeling the same way. Meredith had always loved Amelia and Val she always considered Amelia to be her favourite Shepherd sister and wanted what was best for her and Val and as for Sam her Valentina were the same age and were more than cousins the two of them were so close to each other that they were more like sisters and would do anything to protect each other.

After a few minutes Derek spotted the trio and started to prepare himself he locked eyes with Ryan and had to try and restrain himself from attacking that lowlife and having him live in his house was scary but a necessary evil he had to make sure that he was not going to hurt either one of them because Derek had vowed that if anything like that were to occur he be dam sure that Ryan wouldn't live to see the next sunrise. As soon as Valentina saw him she started to run towards him nothing made him happier than seeing his favourite niece.

"Uncle Derek oh it's so good see you again I've missed you Aunt Meredith, Sam, Zola and Bailey so much but now that we are living here I won't have to miss you guys as much."

She hugged her uncle so tight that she was almost squashing him but she couldn't help it she missed him and her family in Seattle so much and seeing them brought her so much happiness and security to world and that was honestly something she needed right now.

"God I've missed you and your mum so much Valentina and having two of my favourite people now living here makes me so happy and your uncle Mark wanted me to say hi and that he was sorry thee he couldn't come tonight he got stuck at the hospital but he said he would see you and your mum in a few days."

Valentina let go of her uncle and then ran over to Sam and hugged her cousin so tight Samantha was the one person Valentina desperately wanted to see out of everyone Samantha was the only one who knew about Valentina's rape to Val, Sam was more or less her sister and her closest friend she had Sam was the only person Valentina revealed every dark secret in her life and Valentina was always grateful to have some one like that in her life.

"Sammy it's so good to see you again I've missed you so much and Skype calls really just weren't cutting it for me and it feels so surreal that we are actually going to be able to hangout more often now and there is so much we have to discuss."

"You are still the only person who get's away with calling me Sammy but it's so good to see you here Val I've been so worried about you and yes we do need to catch and we'll talk later on tonight."

Valentina then walked over to her Aunt Meredith and hugged her tightly as well.

"Val it's so good to see you again I've been thinking about you a lot and I'm glad to see you doing well in spite of all that has happened."

"Thank you Aunt Mere I'm so happy to see you all where is Zozo and Bail's?"

"We left them with the sitter with you guys coming we figured it would be easier to leave them with the sitter.

After hugging his sister Derek set his sights on Ryan he knew had to have it out with him but he didn't want to do in front of everyone at the airport.

"You must be Ryan Kerrigan I'm Derek Shepherd Amelia's older brother and Valentina's uncle."

"Yes I am it's good to meet you Amelia and Valentina have talked highly of you and your family."

Ryan Shook Derek's hand and was met with a very firm almost grip crushing handshake Ryan knew that this would only be the beginning and knew that it was going to take a lotto earn his approval but regardless Ryan was determined to prove him wrong in anyway. He greeted Sam and Meredith and soon the six of them left the airport with Ryan realising that this would only be the beginning of them moving forward.

 _Authors note: I hoped you guys loved this chapter in the next chapter we are going to focus on Derek and Ryan having it out and Valentina and Sam's talk anyways please review/follow/ favourite this story as it does help me out immensely xxx._


	4. Chapter 4

_Authors note: Hello guys here is the next chapter to this story I'd like to thank all of my usual reviewers for your reviews they do help me out so much and anybody else reading this if you could please review it would be seriously appreciated because that's the only way I know what you guys are thinking about my stories. For anyone reading my other story I'm going to update that tomorrow now that's out of the way a quick disclaimer I don't own any of the characters in this story apart from the ones I have made up now I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and let me know what you all think xxx._

After about an hour or so the six of them got off the ferry and drove towards the dream house Ryan had seen a few images from Amelia of the house and knew that house was a beautiful home it was all surreal to him for the majority of his life he was never surrounded by people who held down decent jobs. His father was a cocaine addict and even though his family had money they were still the type of people who were pretty much lowlife's and they never cared enough about him and he figured that's probably why he first got onto drugs because he grew up only seeing his parents addicted to them and it pretty much all he knew. However since he started being with Amelia he was exposed to something he never had in his life before people who actually cared about him her L.A friends were the first people who even bothered about him, it made him realise that he had to change his life and get everything in order he wanted kids with Amelia and was determined to make sure that his kids would not be exposed to the kind of life he had and he knew Amelia very much felt the same way. He also wanted to show Valentina that they would have the life she should have had growing up no more pain and suffering he knew that was something Valentina needed she had to heal, he knew her life had been one crazy rollercoaster and he knew she desperately needed stability something he was determined to give her, Amelia had mentioned to him before that she needed to give Val that stability because she worried that if Valentina didn't get some sort consistency she was going to spiral the way Amelia had. He looked over at Derek he knew he had to talk to him and reassure him that he wouldn't go back to his old life and that in fact he wanted to turn his life around and be the husband and father figure Amelia and Valentina needed but Ryan wasn't a fool he knew it was going to be a toll order convincing Derek shepherd that but he was determined to try and do just that.

They soon pulled up onto the drive way and Ryan observed he knew the views were breath taking based on the photos but seeing them in person was different again he wanted to have all of this with Amelia and Val, he was determined to make that happen. They got out of the car and walked inside and as he had imagined the interior of the house was just as beautiful the house was beautifully decorated and made him see this was the kind of house he wanted his future kids to have. Meredith had shown him and Amelia to guest room. Shortly after Val and Sam walked up to Sam's room and Amelia and Meredith left and sat in the living room leaving only him and Derek in the kitchen area.

"We should talk outside Ryan what do you say?"

Ryan knew that this would be now or never he had to have it out with him and try to convince him just how much he loved Amelia and how much he wanted to be a good stepfather to Val.

"Yes we should."

The two men walked outside and sat on the porch although neither of them knew what to say and Derek figured he should just come out straight with he didn't want to beat around the bush about all of his concerns.

"I am going to be flat out honest here I do not like you and if had a say I would have made sure that my sister and niece were as far away from you as they could be, however for some unknown reason my sister is love with you and that must mean there has to be some small amount of good hidden within you because my sister has never been with someone long enough for her to even consider the possibility of marrying them, let alone allow them to be in Valentina's life and I am still trying to figure out what it is Amelia's sees in you because quite frankly you being in my house is scary and I even hate the thought that my kids have to be within ten feet of you but I am warning you now and I will only warn you once you do anything and I mean anything that put's my sister my niece, wife or my kids life in any danger or you harm them in anyway I will kill you I don't care what will happen to me but I'll make sure you are as good as dead and I will have best friend Mark Sloan help me he has always cared about Amelia and Valentina he also cares about my family and the two of us won't care if we put you six feet under, Amelia's life has always been a mess and Val's life ha been pretty much the same and I want to spare them of anymore pain and misery do you understand me Ryan?"

"Derek I understand why you hate me so much and believe if it were the other way around I would be saying the same thing but I really do love your sister and I do want to turn my life around and be a different person than what I was I know you hate the fact that I got your sister hooked onto drugs again and believe me when I say I'm sorry I can't turn the clock around but I can change and make a life that your sister and niece deserve, I know how much the two of them have suffered and believe me when I say I want all of the pain and suffering to end."

"Hating you for getting my sister back onto drugs is only one of the list of reasons why I hate you do you have any idea how much my niece went through seeing her mum become so addicted to drugs that she couldn't even live with her, or do you know what is was like for Valentina when you and Amelia went off the grid for twelve days because I do that girl didn't sleep for those twelve days she cried her eyes out all night she skipped school for twelve days because she thought that she was going to get a phone call from a cop saying they found her mother dead and that she was going to be an orphan. She experienced things that no sixteen year old should have had to see or experience at all that was the hell that I had to help her through seeing that has scarred her for life and has undoubtedly messed up her mental and emotional health but you never once thought of that did you didn't think about that sweet girl."

"Derek I did think about Valentina and I know for a fact that Amelia did as well I can't take back all of the pain and suffering that girl went through and there will never be any word to say that could even begin to describe how sorry I was for putting her through that and that's why I am determined to make amends and try to right all of the wrongs that I have created I want to get my life in order and I want to show everyone that I can be the person I should have been from the beginning, not that you would know this but my whole life I was exposed to seeing my parents being addicted to cocaine my life was a mess they never cared about me and that's why I started doing drugs because I had nothing but meeting Amelia made see what I needed to see her friends in L.A helping me get sober brought me back to reality and showed me what I had to do with my life it also showed that there are people who do care about something I never knew until they helped."

As Derek looked Ryan's he could see the sorrow held within them but he could also see the love that he held for Amelia within them and while he wasn't about to admit this to Ryan Derek thought that there may be a possibility that Ryan really was trying to change his life around Derek knew that time would tell if he meant what he was saying and he if would stay committed into changing his life for the better.

"If you truly mean what you are saying then good I do not want my sister or my niece going back to that dark place in their life, so show us her family that you mean what you say go back to school or get a job do whatever but show us that you are willing to put your life in order and maybe I will see hope for the two of you and if you love her as much as you claim to love her you will stay committed and make the difference to your life."

Ryan knew that this would be his one chance to prove to Amelia's family that he could be more than what they thought of him and that can be a decent person in society and he was going to fight with whatever he had to prove this and make them see just that.

 _Meanwhile upstairs in Sam's room_

Sam was glad that it was now just the two of them she knew Val had so much to talk about and Sam had so much to say to her cousin ever since she had heard about what happened in L.A Sam had made it a point to check up on Val daily and make sure that her cousin wasn't going to slip she had to protect her although Sam was younger than Val by a few months Sam had always felt like she had to protect her cousin they had both been exposed to different lives. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like for Val when her mum got back onto drugs Sam for the most part had the picture perfect life parents who even though weren't together loved her and raised her together she had a step mum who loved her as though she was her child she had siblings she adored to the end of the earth and she had a grandma and aunts that loved her but for Val that was vastly different. She didn't know her father and so she never had a real dad in her life her grandma for the most part didn't care about her and her aunts were pretty much the same they didn't care about her and Sam suspected it had to do with the fact that she her aunt Amy's daughter, Sam knew had she been anyone else's in the family child that Val would have been loved and cared for in the same way she Zola and Baily had been and Sam could never understand why they didn't love her because to Sam it wasn't Valentina's fault that her life had turned out the way it did she knew Val never asked for this and if Sam was honest she would never be able to make sense of it.

"Val I have to ask did you end up getting tested for STD's?"

"No I didn't Sam I never got tested."

"Val are you insane or something you should have been tested how do you know you haven't got something from that bastard I mean you could hepatitis or some of the kind of disease and you aren't being treated for it have you been sick or anything lately?"

"I've had some vomiting recently also I've been really tired but I just assumed that was down to all the stress and recently the lymphnodes on the side of my neck have flared up a little but they don't hurt and before you ask there is no way I'm pregnant or anything I've been getting my periods."

"Valentina Addison Shepherd have you lost it or something you've been having these symptoms yet it hasn't occurred to you to get tested, look I'm not going to argue with you anymore tomorrow we are going to Seattle Pres and you are getting those tests no one there will no you so we should be safe but I'm not going to allow you to ignore these symptoms any longer you're my favourite cousin and I'm not letting anything happen to you, I know you have avoided it because of what happened but you just can't keep thinking it will all go away you probably have some kind of infection that just needs treatment."

"Fine Sam if it will keep you off of my back I'll with you to get tested mum starts work tomorrow and your parents also have work so we should be able to get out unnoticed, but anyways that was not all that we have to talk about when we were in L.A I found pregnancy tests several of them at first I thought they were your mum's but I realised she couldn't get pregnant anymore and I knew I wasn't pregnant so then I figured it out that my mum must have been the one pregnant and she hasn't told me yet, I'm not even sure she's told Ryan yet either but I'm assuming she hasn't."

"Wow that's heavy of all the thing I thought you were going to tell me I didn't think that would be one of them I mean how do you feel about it you must be happy that you'll be getting a sibling?"

"Yeah part of me is happy that I'm going to be a big sister but an even bigger part of me is scared I'm scared for my unborn sibling and I know I have to protect my brother or sister because there is no way I'm letting my brother or sister go through what I've been through seeing that first hand has me more determined that I will protect that child from being exposed, to that kind of life my brother or sister needs to have the life that I didn't have the happy and mess free childhood and a life where they don't have to suffer all of that pain and stress."

"I hear you Val and I totally get what you are and you're right that unborn child does not need to be involved in all that chaos that child just needs a happy and healthy life but do you really think that your future brother or sister can be spared all of that I mean can Ryan really keep his promise?"

"I don't know Sam but I just have to hope that he will keep his promise because there is no way I want that child to suffer because I love my brother or sister to much to see them being exposed to that life."

"Val have you actually told anyone about the rape?"

"No I haven't and I'm not going to and that means you can't either Sam I don't want anyone knowing about and I don't want to talk about it to anyone that is a night that I want to forget about for the rest of my life."

"Val you can't just forget about what happened that night and you should tell your mum and Ryan or at least your mum I know you want to forget about and not make her feel anymore guilty but I see it in your eyes Val the pain is written all over your face and if you don't at least seek help and talk about it you'll never deal with it and never heal from what happen and that pain will consume you."

"Sam I said that I don't want to tell anyone I only told you because you are the closest thing I have to a sister so you have promise me Samantha that you won't tell anyone I have to forget all about that night and after I get tested we are not talking about it again."

"Ok Val I promise I won't say nothing but I still think you need o talk with someone about it."

Sam had a feeling that for some reason Val wasn't going to be able to hide what happen and forget it some how she knew that one way or another it was going to come out and Sam didn't know why but she had a feeling it would happen soon.

 _Authors note: ok guys that was the third chapter I hope you guys liked and if you could please review/favourite/ follow it would be appreciated as it helps me to know what you are thinking xxx._


	5. Chapter 5

_Authors note: hey guys here is the next chapter for this story now with my other book I have decided to delete that story and actually write a different story but I won't be writing that till I have finished this one as I am going back to uni everything will be crazy and I'll have less time to update. Now I would like to thank everyone of my reviewer's you guys are the real MVP's of this story and you guys keep me going, quick disclaimer I don't own any of these characters apart from the ones I make up now I hope you guys enjoy this one._

It was around 8:30 when Valentina woke up to the sound of kids and adults talking down stairs she got up from bed and looked around she noticed Sam wasn't in the room and Val assumed she was downstairs with that in mind. Val grab her favourite Levi jeans and put them on she then grabbed her Burberry sweater and threw that on but as she was about to do her makeup she felt the urge to throw up for the past few weeks she had been vomiting throughout the day. She first thought that she was responding to stress but when she saw the glands on her neck sticking out as well as the ones under her arms she knew that this wasn't stress but with everything going on she never bothered getting checked out she was glad that Sam was making her go get checked out, because Valentina wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to deal with feeling sick, she walked into the bathroom and quickly threw up in the toilet but as she felt herself she realised she was getting a fever, she quickly took some medications to stop and then went about brushing her teeth and doing her makeup after that she headed downstairs to join the rest of her family.

"Morning Val did you sleep well?"

"Morning Aunt Mere and yes I did what's for breakfast?"

"your mum's famous waffles there is plate of them over there for you."

"Great mum's waffles are the best."

Valentina took a couple of waffles and then grabbed some juice she then sat next to Sam who looked at Val strangely and Val figured Sam knew that she wasn't feeling the greatest this morning.

"Val are you feeling ok I mean no offense but you look like crap?" Sam whispered.

"No, I don't feel like shit what time does everyone leave so we can go to the hospital and get it over with?"

"They leave at 9:00 after that we can get out hopefully Ryan won't notice us leaving but we'll just make up an excuse and convince him of that."

"Alright sounds good now let's just drop it and hope no one will catch on to the way I look."

At that moment, her mum and Ryan walked into the room and took notice of her immediately Val knew she was going to have to convince her mum that she was fine and Val prayed that the tablets did their job and reduced the fever because she knew if her mum felt her body temp and it wasn't normal she would not let it go and the last thing Val wanted was her mum getting worried about what might be wrong with her.

"Morning princess did you sleep well?"

"Morning mum and yes I slept well you?"

"Yes, I did but are you feeling ok Val you don't look well?"

"I'm feeling fine mum honestly don't worry."

"Ok well if you don't feel well at any point today let me know ok."

Val nodded her head but Amelia knew her daughter well enough to know that something was wrong but she also knew not to press Valentina and figured she would tell her later on if something was wrong, but Amelia couldn't help but feel like something was seriously wrong with her daughter and for some unknown reason she couldn't shake that feeling but she continued on with her morning silently hoping that she was just overacting.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully and soon most of the adults left the house leaving only Ryan, Sam and Val the two girls looked at each other and figured they should get going seeing as how Seattle Presbyterian was an hour and half from Grey Sloan memorial and the girls didn't want to be there to long so they finished getting ready and were about to head out when they remembered they needed to come up with some excuse for where they were headed, so that Ryan didn't become suspicious and tell Amelia anything.

"Hey Ryan Val and I are heading to a friend of mines house we'll be home later on you'll be right here?"

"Yeah sure but don't be too late your Aunt Amelia has to tell you all something."

"yeah sure we'll be home in the afternoon well before everyone else gets home."

Ryan was a bit suspicious of the girl's story but figured it wasn't his place to question it even though he had a good feeling they weren't heading to a friend's house.

The two girls were glad they got out of there without managing to arouse anyone's suspicions the two girls were just hoping whatever was wrong could be treated with some medications and that nothing was seriously wrong because neither girl wanted anyone getting worried or anything like that even though Sam knew something was seriously wrong with her cousin but she didn't want to worry Val but deep inside whatever was wrong with Valentina was more than a simple infection. The two girls spent the next two hours driving they soon pulled up at Seattle Pres Sam parked the car and the two of them entered the E.R which was unusually quiet but both girls were grateful for that it meant they would be seen quickly and hopefully in and out within the hour. Val walked up to reception and filled out all of the paperwork and the two of them sat in the waiting room for around ten minutes before being called in by the E.R doctor.

"You must be Valentina Shepherd I'm DR Eric Boyd what seems to be the issue with you today?"

"Well I had sex a few weeks ago however it was a random one night stand and I need to get tested for STD's but I also started vomiting recently and the glands in my arms and next have started sticking out, I've also had fatigue but I thought that may have been related to stress and this morning I started having a fever but I took some medications to stop it."

"Ok and when you say you started having these symptoms how long are we talking about?"

"I would say about a month or so but like I said I never thought anything of it because I had been under a lot of stress because of some personal issues going on at home."

"Ok well Miss Shepherd I'd like to run a blood test and we'll see what that say's in the meantime I'd also like to look at the glands and feel those for you."

Dr Boyd began running his fingers over the glands and Val could see from the expression on his face that he knew something was seriously wrong but was obviously trying to hide it and not scare her. However, growing up with a surgeon Valentina could recognise when a doctor was worried or not it was the same expression her mum made whenever she knew something was seriously wrong but didn't want to alarm the patients. Val looked over at Sam and the two of the looked at each other with that knowing look both girls knew that something was seriously but neither girl wanted to admit it.

"Alright the nurse is going to draw some blood and setup an IV in the meantime would like me to call your parents?"

"No, I don't want to call my mum yet and get her worried she's a surgeon and I don't want to pull her out of surgery to worry her if it's nothing."

"Alright well I guess we can wait and see what the blood test says we should have the results within the hour ok."

Dr Boyd left the room leaving only the girls and the nurse who quickly drew blood from Valentina and setup the IV after that the nurse left and Sam quickly closed the curtains so that they wouldn't be disturbed.

"Val are you ok?"

"Not really I'm scared Sam I mean did you seen his face you could tell that he knew something was seriously wrong I mean what if something is seriously wrong what the hell am I going to do."

"Val, you can't be thinking like that let's just hope it's some kind of nasty infection that will be treated with some antibiotics or some other kind of medications you know as well as I do that it could be a million one different things let's just watch some videos on our phones and pass the time and hopefully we'll have the results soon."

Val pulled out her phone and the two girls began watching videos on YouTube to pass the time and while Sam wasn't going to admit it to Val she knew that there was something seriously wrong with her cousin she just hoped it wasn't the one thing she was thinking of she quickly drew those thoughts out of her mind and continued watching the videos.

 _Meanwhile outside at the desk_

"Dr Boyd the results of Valentina's blood work are back and they want you to look at them immediately apparently it's urgent."

"Thank you nurse I'll take a look right now."

As grabbed the tablet and looked at everything all of her results seemed in order except when he looked at her white blood cell count he saw why it was urgent she came back infection free but her WBC's. Came back as being double what they should normally be and coupled with her other symptoms he knew that it was likely she was suffering from Lymphoma and he didn't want to go in there and say that but he knew had to get the glands tested and see if the results did confirm that it was Lymphoma, he hoped that it wouldn't be the case she seemed like a sweet girl who definitely didn't deserve a diagnosis like this but nevertheless he had to do his job and talk to the girls.

"Hello girls, so Miss Shepherd I have the results of your latest blood test now everything seems to be in order except for your WBC's now it double what it normally should be so I need further tests to rule out a few things and so I'll have a nurse take a sample of those raised lymph nodes after that we should have a clear idea of what we are dealing with does that sound good."

"DR Boyd my mum is a surgeon I have grown up my whole life with surgeons I know that when you say that WBC's are elevated that would mean either infection and cancer but since you ruled out infection is what you are testing for cancer?"

"Miss Shepherd look normally I do not like to be this upfront with patients but since you seem aware of everything yes I am testing for lymphoma as I believe that would be the likely diagnosis but I cannot say with certainty until the results from your lymph nodes come back. However, I must advise that if the results come back positive for lymphoma I will have no choice but to contact your mother as we require her consent for all the potential treatments."

"Yeah I understand thanks Dr Boyd"

The nurse comes back in and takes a sample of the lymph nodes but this test hurts Valentina quite a bit and once she took the sample Valentina was relieved that it was over but now it was a waiting game of finding out if that she did have cancer and Val knew that if she did have it she was in for a lot more pain discomfort a lot more than the amount of pain she felt from the last sample. She couldn't help but think of her mum and she knew that if this was what she had her mum was going to be devastated and Val was worried that was going to cause her to spiral again she prayed her mum would be strong enough to help her through this and seeing as how she had a lot of support Val hoped that this would help her mum out even more. Then Val remembered that her mum was pregnant and Val hoped this child would be the reminder to her mum not to spiral, Val turned her attention to her cousin who just looked at her sympathetically.

"Val it'll be ok and there is a chance that it may not be lymphoma."

"Sam let's be real here you know as well as I do that the only reason WBC's are elevated is because of infection and cancer also my other symptoms are a clear indicator of it more than likely being cancer I just hope it isn't too severe."

"Val even if it is cancer you'll kick its ass ok we'll all be here to help you fight it alright you are going to be ok trust me we will do everything to help you beat it and then you can put it behind you ok you aren't going down that easy you got that Valentina Addison Shepherd."

The two girls soon embraced each other tightly and while Sam was trying to be brave on the outside she knew that on the inside she was just as scared for her cousin she also knew how much pain she would be in within the next few months, Sam knew that whole family was going to have to rally around Val and help her out with everything she knew that they were going to have to possess the same strength that Val had in order to help, Sam let Val go and the two girls continued watching videos for a few hours while they awaited for the results of the sample.

Around three hours later the doctor came back into the room only this time he wasn't alone the two girls knew that their worst fears had been realised when they saw the two other doctors come into the room both girls just hoped it wasn't too advanced and that they got it early.

"Miss Shepherd these are my colleague's Dr Whiteman and Dr Moss, Dr Whiteman is the oncologist and Dr Moss is our Paediatric attending at the hospital."

"Miss Shepherd I'm Dr Whiteman now we want to discuss the results of your samples from the lymph nodes now they do indicate the presence of a cancer known as Hodgkin's lymphoma a cancer of the WBC's in the lymph nodes it's a rare cancer it accounts for only 0.1% of the cancers we see and this cancer is common amongst kids of your age."

The other doctor then stood forward towards the girls Valentina had an idea of what he was about to say next and while she didn't want tell her mum she knew that she now had no option but to tell her and right Val really did want her mum she was her rock and all she wanted was to hug her mum because Valentina was so scared and she knew her mum would be the only one to ease her.

"Miss Shepherd doctor Boyd explained before that in order for us to proceed with treatment we have to contact your mum but if you want to be transferred to another hospital we can do that if you'd like but it's protocol to contact her."

"Yes, I understand I'll give you her number and as for being transferred I want to be treated at Grey Sloan my whole family works there and we know people over there so yeah I'd like to be transferred over there."

"Alright I'll arrange for transfer in the meantime Dr Whitman will contact your mum now in case we are unable to contact your mum who else is your legal guardian that would answer?"

"I guess my mum's fiancé Ryan or my uncle Derek but Ryan would be more likely to answer since he isn't working at the moment."

Valentina gave the numbers out and soon all three doctors left the room at this point Valentina and Sam were trying to digest the bit of info they had gotten and Valentina knew that at this point she was going to have an uphill battle to beat the cancer and move forward.

 _Authors note: Ok guys so now we are really getting into the story because now it's time to see how she will handle this but it's also time for her to tackle a few issues throughout her journey anyways let me know what you think and I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as always let me know what you think xxx._


	6. Chapter 6

_Authors note: Hello guys so first of all I'd like to thank those who have favourite/follow/review my story you guys have no idea how much it helps me out knowing that you guys like my story and it motivates me to want to write more and now a quick disclaimer I don't own these characters apart from the ones I made up myself anyways I hope you guys like this chapter xxx._

Valentina was in shock from what she had heard and it wasn't until they left that it began to sink in that she had cancer and that now she was in for the fight of her life and that thought scared her so much having her mum being a doctor she was used to seeing cancer patients, but getting that diagnosis herself now made her realise that she was going to be one of those patients and she thought if she was strong before she was going to have to be even stronger now but for now all she wanted was her mum and she hoped her mum wasn't stuck in a surgery and that she would be here soon.

"Val are you ok?"

"No, I'm not I'm scared Sam, I'm worried that I won't live, I'm scared about what treatment will be like and all the side effects that come with chemo. I mean haven't I been through enough in my life why this everyone else has had the easy life and me time after time I've been dealt with more challenges than anyone should have to face."

"Val I know you are scared but it will be ok you'll get through it just like every other challenge in your life and maybe there was a reason for you to face everything you have in life maybe you had to have the bad before you could have the good, either way Val there is a reason for everything in life and you will get through it we will help you get through this battle you won't be alone."

The doctors outside heard the girls talking and couldn't help but feel for her it was clear to them that Valentina never had it easy in life and now they were tasked with giving the news that no parent wants to hear. However, they had no choice so with that in mind Dr Whiteman called Dr Amelia Shepherd hoping that she would answer the phone.

 _At Grey Sloan Memorial_

Amelia had just finished doing an exam on a patient in the ER and was now headed to do a consult on the wards when her phone rang as she looked at the phone number she didn't recognise it so she answered the call not knowing who it was.

"Hello is this Dr Amelia Shepherd?"

"Yes, it is who is calling?"

"Hello this is Dr Whiteman from Seattle Pres I just wanted to call you and say that your daughter Valentina Shepherd is our ER."

Hearing this caused Amelia's mind to race why was her daughter there, what was wrong with her, was she ok Amelia couldn't think about anything other than getting to her daughter who was probably scared out of her mind and would probably just want Amelia by her side. Amelia started to calm down and began asking more questions to find out what was wrong with her daughter.

"What is wrong with my daughter exactly?"

"She presented with some symptoms but this isn't the type of information I want to tell a parent over the phone so how long will it be before you can make it over here?"

"I'll be there within the hour just tell her I'm on my way."

Amelia hung up the phone and ran to find her brother but as she was running she bumped into him and she could see from the look of his face that he was confused as to why she was looking so frantic and so Amelia began to quickly tell Derek about the phone call she had received.

"Amelia are you ok, you look frantic what's wrong?"

"I just a phone call from Seattle Pres apparently Val is in the hospital and the doctor wanted me to go there now but he wouldn't say what was wrong only that he didn't want to give me news over the phone."

"What, well we better head over there now I'll get Mere and we'll call Sam in the car because she's probably with Val at the hospital and maybe she'll tell us herself what's wrong with Val."

Amelia simply nodded at Derek they quickly found Meredith and got the kids from day-care and soon they all headed off towards Seattle Pres Amelia called Ryan and told him everything, he offered to come but Amelia said it would be easier if he just stayed at the house. She then hung up from him and called Sam hoping that she would tell them what was wrong with Val.

"Sam are you at the ER with Val?"

"Yes, aunty Amy I am are you on your way here?"

"Yes, I'm on the way with your dad, Meredith and your brother and sister, Sam what's wrong with Val is it something serious?"

"Yeah it's something serious but you'll want to hear it from the doctor but she is going to need you now more than ever Aunty Amy."

Amelia hung from Sam she now more desperate than ever to get to the hospital she needed to find out what was wrong with her daughter, she just hoped whatever it was that would be something that could be treated and not something that would kill her or change her life in any way. They pulled up at Seattle Pres and parked the car they unbuckled everyone from the car and ran into the ER they walked up to the reception she just wanted to see her daughter.

"My daughter Valentina came into the ER I received a phone call saying they wanted to speak with me?"

The nurse typed a few things on the computer before looking up at Amelia.

"Yes, she came in she's in bay one I'll bring you all to her and I'll have the doctor come and see you all."

They all followed the nurse over to bay one and the minute Amelia saw her daughter she climbed onto the bed next to her and held her Val was so happy to see her she knew that out of everyone her mum would be the one who would ease all of her concerns. As her mum held Valentina couldn't help but begin to break down in her mother's arms and for Amelia seeing her daughter sobbing her arms she knew that whatever was wrong with her daughter was something serious Valentina continued to cry for several more minutes until her cries slowly turned to whimpers as she began to stop crying the doctor walked into the room he then began to address the whole family.

"Hello everyone I am doctor Whiteman I am one of the doctors over seeing Valentina's case, now I know you are all wanting to know what is wrong with Valentina, she presented with symptoms of fever, fatigue, raised lymph nodes and nausea. When then performed a blood test to see if she had any infection however she came back clear for infection and the only thing the tests showed was that her white blood cell count was elevated to double the normal levels we then tested the raised lymph nodes and we have the results back, now Dr Shepherd I am sorry to have to tell you this but the results came back positive for lymphoma, we are not sure what stage yet as such we cannot determine the course of treatment however your daughter indicated that she would like to be treated at Grey Sloan I will give you all sometime to take this all in and then we can discuss the transfer."

The doctor left the room and Amelia looked at everyone else in the room and they all nodded at Amelia and left the room to get something to eat knowing that Amelia wanted to be alone with her daughter at the moment, for Amelia though she couldn't process what she heard her little girl had cancer Amelia knew this was anything but fair. Her daughter did not deserve this she had been through too much in her life to even deserve something like this Amelia hugged her daughter tighter than she ever did in her life Amelia then began to cry with her daughter the two stayed that way for a while until Valentina looked at her mum and spoke up.

"I'm so scared mum about how everything will be from the treatment to losing my hair or how much pain I'm going to be in and I'm scared I'm going to die."

"Valentina listen to me sweetheart you are not going to die you are going to beat the cancer and I will be there with you every step of the way do you understand your family needs you I need you and your baby brother will need you, I know it's going to be scary but you will come through it all will it be rough yes but we need you and we will help you."

Valentina looked at her mum and then looked her mum's stomach

"You said baby brother so does that mean you are having a little boy?"

"Yes, Val in a few months you'll have a baby brother, you are happy about that right?"

While Valentina was happy that she was getting the sibling she always wanted she was scared that her brother was going to suffer the life that she had and she knew then she had to beat the cancer in order to see that he wouldn't have that life that she had.

"Off course I'm happy mum I've always wanted a sibling and at least there will be some happiness to look forward to I just want to get through the treatment and be there for my baby brother."

"I love you Valentina and I promise you that you'll be fine and every one of us will be there for you throughout your whole journey but I do have a question though, I know your grandma or your aunts have not been there for you over the years but do you want me to tell them you have cancer it's your choice Val and I'll support you with whatever you decide."

"We should tell them though we don't talk to them they have a right to know but I don't want them visiting they haven't been there for me throughout any other part of my life they don't get to be there for when I am sick."

"That's fine I'll wait till the others come back and then I'll go call them ok."

 _In New York_

Carolyn Shepherd was cleaning through some photos when she stumbled on a photo of Amelia when she was about four years old the photo was of Amelia and her father laughing and playing at the park looking at that photo made her think of her youngest daughter Carolyn could not help but feel regretful for the way she treated Amelia, but what struck Carolyn the most was when she looked at the photo of Valentina it was the only photo she had of granddaughter Derek had sent it to Carolyn when he took Valentina hiking when she was around 10 years old, for Carolyn this was probably her biggest regret in life not forming a connection with Valentina. Over the years Carolyn had always turned her back on her granddaughter and looking at that photo made her realise how wrong she was, Valentina was innocent she never asked for what happened to her in life and it caused Carolyn to think about when Valentina. Called her asking for help with Amelia and how Carolyn just told her she had no time for either one of them and as she stares at the photo she only wished that she could turn back the clock and undo everything she did to Amelia and Valentina she only wished that she could make it up to them for the way she treated them over the years. However, she knew that neither Amelia nor Valentina wanted anything to do with her or her other daughters and Carolyn could not blame them but a phone call she was about to receive would make her realise that maybe she could try making it up to them.

Carolyn's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the kitchen phone ringing she picked it up and seeing the numbers on the phone made her realise who was calling her and she immediately answered the call.

"Amelia, how are you?"

"I, am fine mum I won't take too long but I wanted to call and let you know that Valentina is the hospital she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma it's a cancer of the white blood cells in the lymph nodes, but we wanted to call you to let you know and for you to pass it on to the others but don't bother coming out to see her Valentina has made it clear that she does not want to see any of you anyways I will let you go but as I said she felt that you all have the right to know bye mum."

Carolyn hung up the phone and went back to look at the photo of Valentina she knew that if she felt guilty before it was nothing compared to the guilt she felt now Amelia was cold towards her on the phone and Carolyn could not blame her daughter for being cold as she knew how badly she had treated them but she knew, that despite Amelia's request Carolyn had to fly to Seattle and make thing right with her granddaughter and her daughter she also knew the other girls had to do the same so with that in mind Carolyn called her other daughters and told them to come to her house.

Within the hour Nancy, Kathleen and Lizzie all showed up at their mother's doorstep neither women having any clue what this was about but from their mothers tone they knew whatever it was had to be something urgent and serious, Carolyn let them in and all four women sat in the living room.

"Now, I know you are all wondering why I called you here but I received a phone call from Amelia this evening about Valentina, she rang to tell me that Valentina was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma."

The three women gasped hearing this made all three of them feel nothing but shame and guilt for the way they turned their backs on the two of them they all knew the way they treated them was horrible and they all knew that they would never be able to make it up to them because they knew their actions weren't forgivable.

"Mum what do you want us to do about it I mean it is an awful thing that they are about to go through but I highly doubt that either one of them want us around given how badly we have all treated them."

"Well Liz you are right about the fact that they do not want us around but we are all going to go we have to make it up to them because if we do not do it now we will never have another chance to do so and we have to make it right we owe it to the two of them to make up for our mistakes."

The three women nodded at their mum and soon Nancy had purchased four tickets to Seattle with the hopes that it wouldn't be too late to make it up to them.

 _Authors note: ok guys so I hoped you guys like this chapter let me know what you all thought of it and in the next chapter it will be time to deal with Amelia and Valentina's relationship with the rest of the family anyways I hope you all enjoyed it xxx._


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello guys so here is the next chapter for you guys, now I would like to tell you I won't be updating as frequently as I am back at university on Monday and I'm studying to be a surgeon so after this chapter I will be updating once a week, now a quick disclaimer I don't own any of these characters apart from the ones I created now I hope you guys enjoy this chapter xxx._

The following days after her initial diagnosis life changed for Valentina drastically the outgoing and bright girl was now lying in a hospital bed hooked up to IV machines and having blood tests left right and centre, Val could see her entire family was trying to be brave and strong for her but deep down she knew they were just as scared and messed up as she was but she knew that her strength and resilience was going to get her through this and she just held onto the hope that she would be fine. However today everyone was worried seeing as how today they would get the results of what stage the cancer was and this had everyone on edge they were all praying it would be stage one or two because that meant treatment would be more easy and straightforward, Val was lying in the bed observing her mum ever since the diagnosis Amelia had cut down her work hours and devoted her time being by her daughter's side as well getting all the info she could on lymphoma Val knew that this was her mum's way of trying to make sense of the whole situation.

"Mum I never asked what your mum said when you told her about my cancer?"

"She didn't say much Val other than she was sorry I mean I didn't give her much of a chance to say anything really."

"You did tell her and the others not to come yeah?"

"I did Val they know not to bother coming and given how they have treated it's unlikely they would have wanted to come anyways."

As Amelia said this neither of them had any clue that their wishes were about to be disrespected in a matter of hours and that finally their issues would be brought to the surface for them to deal with once and for all.

Carolyn, Nancy, Kate and Lizzie finally touched down in Seattle Carolyn had called Derek ahead of time and despite his repeated request of not to come because of how Amelia and Valentina would react Carolyn had remained firm on her decision for all of them to see the two women they all had to mend their bridges with Amelia and Valentina, Carolyn was determined to have her daughter and her granddaughter back in her life and she was also interested in meeting Ryan she had heard from Derek that he was doing all that he could to turn his life around, To prove to everyone he was able to make a difference Derek had told he applied for Med school in Seattle and got in. Hearing that made Carolyn think that there is good in him after all, the four women got their luggage and met Derek at the arrivals terminal, Carolyn was glad to see her son it had been forever since she last visited and the girls were also happy to see their brother again.

"It's good to see you all again I wished it were under better circumstances though."

"I know dear it's good to see you again and how Amelia and Valentina are holding up?"

"As well as can be expected I know Amelia has been trying to put on a brave face in front of Val but when she is with Ryan that's when she breaks down but he has been supporting her and I never thought that I would say this but he might actually be good for her, he really has been there for the both of them and stays the night at the hospital when Amelia needs to go home."

"Well that is good to hear dear and I'm glad he is there for them now we should get going because we want to see them."

Derek nodded and the five of them walked out of the airport, they got into the car and drove straight to the hospital Derek knew that neither Amelia nor Val would be happy to see them but he knew why the others had to come it was about time they mended the fence.

 _Meanwhile at the hospital_

Amelia, Meredith, Sam and Val sat in the hospital room Alex was scheduled to come by at any time with the results of Val's CT and PET scan this would determine the course of treatment they had to proceed with so the four of them had made small talk with each other until then Ryan had gone to get food for everyone seeing as how gross hospital food tended to be, as they were talking Alex walked into the room with Dr Hall.

"Hello everyone now we have the results from Valentina's latest scans, now unfortunately we were hoping it would be stage one or two however the results indicate that it's stage three Hodgkin's lymphoma. The scans showed the cancer is in the neck, arm pits and groin however when we did a full body CT it picked up something in her brain and the PET scan was able to show that the cancer has spread to her left temporal lobe of her brain."

"So, what is the plan then I mean you're going to remove it and then give her chemo?"

Alex then spoke up

"Amelia the plan is start an intense course of chemotherapy and then we are planning to excise the tumour but the size of the tumour is fairly large around 15cm so getting it out is going to be difficult but I spoke with Nelson and he thinks he can get it out."

"Oh no way Nelson is not touching my daughter, he is an idiot and if this thing is difficult to excise with the margins and the size of tumour I won't allow just anybody touching it."

"Well who do you want operating on her then?"

"I know someone from Hopkins he is the head of neuro there and he knows Val I'll call him and get him to remove it he's the only other person I'll allow to touch my daughter's tumour."

"You're not being serious mum you're going to call him of all people, he is the most arrogant guy on earth I mean the man literally thinks he's god's gift to everyone."

"He may be arrogant Val but you know as well as I do he is the best and I don't want anyone butchering your brain."

"I guess you're right fine call him but this better be worth it."

"Who is your mum talking about Val I mean I've met a lot of neurosurgeons from dad but I don't remember hearing about this guy."

"Well that's a good thing then Sam but his name is Thomas Koracik, he was mum's teacher when she did her residency back at Hopkins and he thinks he's god's gift to everyone when I was younger he used to show me all these surgeries he was doing or he'd teach me about the brain always bragging that one day he would teach me just like he taught mum, however mum isn't wrong when she says he's the best because he is and truthfully I don't want anyone else operating on me."

"He sounds like someone no one would like I'm surprised dad never mentioned him before."

"Yeah Sam no one likes the guy you'll understand when you meet him also your dad would have heard of him it's just that he probably hated him that he didn't want to talk about him."

Soon Meredith left to answer a page and Amelia left with Ryan to call Tom leaving only Sam and Val in the room, the two teens started talking about school and everyone at the school when they heard Derek but Sam also heard other women talking and she recognised those voices and she knew that trouble was about to begin when they walked into the room.

The five of them arrived at the hospital Carolyn was anxious to see her granddaughter for the first time in 16 years she knew that Valentina would not be happy to see them but regardless Carolyn had to try, they got to the paediatric ward and soon came to Valentina's room and the minute Valentina made eye contact with the people in her room her face went from happy to cold and angry within a split second.

"What the hell are you four doing here I thought we made it perfectly clear don't bother coming I didn't want you here?"

"Valentina we just wanted to see you and try to make amends with you and your mum."

Valentina let out a loud and cold cackle when she heard this she couldn't believe they even had the audacity to say that after everything that has happened.

"Make amends with us really why now is because I'm sick because seriously that's pretty lousy of you if you want to make amends because you heard I was sick."

"Valentina we are sorry for what we did to you and your mum we never meant for you to be treated this way."

"You're sorry wow I don't know what I'm supposed to find more hilarious the fact the you guys are even here saying this or you expecting me to believe you're sorry, Grandma were you sorry when I called you and asked for help with mum and you turned around and said you had no time for either of us, or Aunt Nancy when I called you and you simply laughed saying you expected nothing less from mum and then hung up on me, or what about you Aunt Lizzie when I called you and you said that you didn't want to hear about it and that we were too much of a burden, oh and Aunt Kate how about when I called you and you said what do you want me to do about it and then you said that hurricane Amelia was a problem that you didn't want to deal with, were you all sorry then because if so then that's a funny way of showing it."

"Valentina your Aunts and I are truly sorry for what we said and did we all realise now that we never should have done that you or your mum we can't take back what we said and did but we can try and start over."

"Yeah well you're a little too late for that none of you guys have been there for me or mum don't start thinking you can come and start now."

Outside the Hall Amelia had just finished calling Tom who said that he would be out there within the week when she heard raised voices coming from her daughter's room as she and Ryan walked in her worry turned into rage seeing her mum and her four sisters standing her daughters hospital room.

"Why are you four here I thought I told you that we didn't want any of you here."

"Amelia dear we are here to make amends with you and Valentina we want to apologise and start over with you both."

Amelia let out a cold laugh she could not believe that the four of them thought that either of them would anything to do with them after the way they treated them the last sixteen years.

"Oh, really you're all here to apologise well sorry to burst your bubble but we don't want your apology I mean what made you think that we would even be willing to start over, after what you all did to me and my daughter did you seriously think that you could now walk into our lives. I mean mum when I told you that I was pregnant with Valentina you told me that you would have nothing to do with me or my daughter, then when I gave birth to her you wouldn't even help me look after her even though you knew I was about to start med school but when Derek and Addison had Sam you were more than willing to babysit and do whatever you could to help and as for you three. You all said that I should never be a mum and that I couldn't raise a kid and you all said that my child would be the family disappointment just like I was, the only person in this family who gave a crap about me or Valentina was Derek he was the only one who offered to help me out with her but you know what was worse. When my daughter was a little girl she wanted to know why Sam saw you guys but she didn't and I called you all to see if you wanted to spend time with her but instead you all hung up on me, Valentina was an innocent child in the whole thing but you took your anger and disappointment out on my child so screw all of you because we don't want you around go back to New York and don't come and see us."

"Amelia, we know what we did was wrong but mum is right we have to try just give us one more chance we promise to do things differently we will help you and Valentina we want to be a part of your lives we know what we did was unforgivable but we do want to try and make it up to you both."

"I'm sure Lizzie but whatever I'm not going to keep fighting it's my daughter's decision but if she decides that she doesn't want you lot around then you'll all have to leave."

At this point Derek and Ryan could see the tension boil over in the room and both men knew that all of the fighting and shouting wasn't going to do any good for anyone standing in the room especially Val so Ryan decided to step up and get the four women out of the room for the time being.

"Look guys all of this fighting isn't good for Val maybe it's best if you all left and come back a little later."

The four women looked at Ryan with confusion as to who he was until it hit Carolyn that this must be the same Ryan, that Derek had mentioned to her about Carolyn took a good look at him, he was a tall fairly decent looking man with raven black hair and a black beard not at all what Carolyn had envisioned him to look like.

"I'm guessing you're Amelia's fiancée Ryan would I be right?"

"yes, Mrs Shepherd"

"Very well then I guess Ryan is right we'll come back later on during the day."

The four women left the room but as they left Carolyn couldn't help but think that maybe he really was the right one for Amelia when she saw his eyes she could see nothing but love for her daughter and that made her happy to know that her daughter had someone who loved her like that.

"Derek did you know they were coming?"

"Mum called me when they were at the airport saying they were flying out I told them that it wouldn't be the best idea Amy but she insisted on coming and maybe it's time you all fixed was what broken."

"Look it's up to Val it's her choice on whether or not she wants them to stay."

"I think maybe they should stay I mean they all seemed genuinely sorry for what they did and honestly I don't want to fight I'm tired and scheduled to have brain surgery soon so honestly I just want peace and it would be nice having them in my life after all they are family."

"If that's what you want Val then that's what we will do."

As Derek listened to Val he couldn't help but wonder what she meant when she said she was having brain surgery he figured they must have gotten more information on her condition.

"What did you mean Val when you said you were having brain surgery?"

"Right I forgot to tell you Derek the cancer is stage 3 and when they did the CT they found a 15cm tumour in left temporal lobe so they need to remove it and since neither of us can remove it I call a teacher of mine at Hopkins, Tom Koracik the head of neuro he's coming within the next week to remove it for her."

Derek scowled at the mention of Tom Koracik, Derek knew him well and he hated the man he always bragging that he was the best and had an ego the size of Texas plus Derek couldn't stand how sleazy the guy was the man was forever and always flirting and attempting to sleep with every woman he thought was hot.

"Seriously Amy of all people him, the guy is so arrogant not to mention one of the sleaziest men I've come across I mean he makes mark look like the virgin Mary."

"I know he isn't the most likeable person on earth Derek but you can't deny how good he is and if we can't operate at least we know she'll have the best person removing it."

It was true Derek couldn't deny it the guy was good at what he did and knew Val would have the best chance if he was operating on her so he didn't argue with Amelia anymore he just hoped that. Val would come out of it with minimal injury to the brain.

 _Authors note: so that was the 6_ _th_ _chapter I hope you guys liked it and let me know you all think as every review helps me out a ton xxx._


	8. Chapter 8

_Authors note hey guys so I have decided from now on I will update on Monday Australia time which means that is Sunday American/ European time once again I want to thank all of my usual reviewers especially Patsy you guys are amazing and you definitely keep me motivated to keep writing anyways I hope you guys like this chapter xxx._

As the week progressed Valentina was beginning to feel the effects of her brain tumour over the week she began experiencing seizure's and everyone knew that it had to come out before it got worse and as Tom's pending arrival loomed Valentina became more and more nervous. She knew he was good but still in the back of her mind she couldn't help but worry that she wouldn't make it out alive or if she did make it out alive that she would have permanent brain damage and she knew her whole family had the same feeling, however during the week her mum's family had come to visit her and while neither Valentina nor Amelia were as close to them they did make good progress in repairing the damage that had been created and this made Valentina extremely happy, she wanted her family around more and it seemed she was going to finally get what she wanted.

It was the day before Tom would arrive in Seattle and Amelia couldn't be more impatient for his arrival seeing her daughter suffer the way she had was beginning to take a toll on her and with her added pregnancy she knew that him being here would help ease her stress. Amelia told Ryan about the pregnancy and he was ecstatic that he was going to be a dad however Amelia had yet to tell the rest of the family but she wanted to wait till after Val's surgery and then she would tell the rest of the family for now though she just wanted to lay with her daughter and try to ease her worries.

"Val, princess I know you are worried about how it will go but trust me you'll be ok you know that right?"

"Mum I know that you are trying to be optimistic but you know as well as I do that there is a good chance that it won't be ok, considering the size and the location of the tumour even if he can get to it removing it without damaging anything is going to be a miracle but I want you to know though that no matter what happens I love you and you are the most amazing mum in the world and that baby is going to be so lucky to be loved by everyone."

Amelia couldn't help but hug her daughter even tighter she knew what Valentina was saying was true and that possibility scared her so much that she began to cry a few silent tears she couldn't imagine losing her first born, she was the thing that got her through her days and Amelia knew that had it not been for her daughter she never would have made it in life but Valentina was the sole reason she was where she was.

"Valentina you can't think like that yes those risks are there but Tom is the best and he will get it out safely I promise you that much and you will come out of it alive and well ok so you have to fight Valentina fight like you never have before."

Valentina simply nodded at her mum before drifting off to sleep as Amelia watched her daughter sleep she began to cry silently again, she couldn't understand why life would deal her daughter with the worse hands, it simply wasn't fair to Amelia that her daughter should have to suffer the way she was and there was not a thing she could even do about it. What Amelia really wanted was to switch places with her daughter but she knew that was not a possibility, Amelia had seen her daughter suffer enough and she knew that if Val made it through she would do everything in her power to prevent her from suffering anymore with that Amelia began to drift off to sleep holding her daughter tightly because whatever happens Amelia wanted Valentina to know that she is loved.

The next morning Amelia was awoken by the sound of Derek entering Val's room he came in with coffee for him and Amelia, he placed the coffee on the table and took the chair and sat next to his sister.

"Morning, Derek and thanks for the coffee."

"Did you sleep much Amy?"

"I did sleep a little bit more than I did the other night but I'm just nervous about today and I know she is as well."

"I know you are both scared but you said it yourself Amy he is the best and I know you never would have let him come near her if you didn't think he could take it out."

"I know but still it's my daughter and even though I know he is the best I can't help but worry that he'll say he can't take it out or something like that."

"Amy you and I both looked at her scans and we both said that we could remove it so if we can take it out I have no doubts that he can too and as much as I cannot tolerate the guy or his personality I know for a fact that you made the right choice calling him."

Amelia hugged her brother and the two talked for an hour or so before Valentina woke up and the rest of the family came to the hospital everyone was talking amongst each other until Amelia saw Alex and Tom walk into the room.

"Shepherd it's good to see you."

"You too Tom I'm glad you came."

"Ah and mini Shepherd how's it going."

"It's alright apart from having no energy and these stupid seizures I guess it could be worse but that's why you're here to get this tumour out of my brain."

"Well that's good and you're right Valentina I will get because I'm what?"

"You're the best I see you haven't changed a bit."

"Damm straight."

The rest of the family just stared at Tom most of them not believing how cocky and arrogant he was they also hated the way he eyed most of the women in the room almost like he thought he would have his way with most of them if he could.

"Alright I'm going to check the latest CT scans then we'll get some new ones and then I'll do a biopsy after that I'll come up with a plan to get it out of your head and then you'll kick the cancer and come and work with me so that I can teach you just like I taught your mum you got that mini Shepherd."

"Sounds good Tom."

Tom and Alex left the room to check the scans leaving the family in the room.

"Well you weren't wrong Val when you said he was arrogant I mean I've never seen a doctor who is so cocky or full of himself in my life also he is really creepy did you see the way he was eyeing the women in here."

"I told you Sam he is a show boat but that's what makes him good at what he does right mum."

"Yes, that's right but he also works best under pressure so whoever is the resident I need to talk to them and make sure they ask him a lot of questions and keep him on his toes."

The family nodded at Amelia's statement and soon those who were working were paged to the ER while the rest of Amelia's family headed down to the cafeteria with Amelia and Ryan to eat before Tom and Alex came back.

"Val I totally get why you don't like the guy I mean he is so creepy did you see the way he was staring at me I mean did he ever do that with you?"

"Yeah he has when he came out to L.A to help mum out with a case he kept flirting with me but he didn't sleep with me because I wasn't of age he did sleep with mum though."

"Gross Val why would she do that I mean that's just disgusting."

"I think my mum did it because it was almost like rite of passage or something and besides it's Amelia Shepherd my mum used to sleep with anyone who walks."

 _Cafeteria_

"Amelia the guy is so creepy and rude I mean I've seen arrogant men but Koracick is a whole other level."

"I know Kate he is rude and makes disgusting comments about women but I never would have brought him here if I didn't think Valentina's best chance wasn't with him look his personality is a small price if it means Val is allowed to live."

"I know but Amelia how are you really doing and be honest here I know we are slowing mending our relationship but still you must be scared out of your mind?"

"Scared is only half of what I am feeling Kate I'm angry that she even has to suffer like this she's been through enough she doesn't deserve this but I'm also sad and in pain because seeing my daughter suffer the way she is shatters my heart into a thousand pieces and am I scared that she'll go under and not come back as my beautiful teenage daughter, but I can't think like this because right now I have to be strong for her because she needs all the strength and fight to get through this."

Amelia talked to her family for a little while longer before her and Ryan headed back to Valentina's room to wait for her daughter's next CT scan before they would decide how the tumour was coming out as she and Ryan entered the room Tom and Alex had come back to her room obviously waiting for Amelia to come back.

"Are you going to take Val down to CT?"

"No, Amelia I've changed my mind we'll do the scans inside the O.R it's better that way I can get the scans as I need them."

"Ok that's fine but what's your plan on removing it?"

"Well I'll go in with a craniotomy and then clip the vessels surrounding the tumour after that I should be able to scoop the tumour out and then we'll send it off to pathology and that should be it."

"Ok that sounds good when will you schedule the surgery?"

"This afternoon mini Shepherd hasn't eaten so we'll do the surgery this afternoon."

As they finished talking about the plan the rest of the Shepherd family came back to the room but to Amelia and Valentina's pleasant surprise they saw Addison stepping into the room."

"Addie what are you doing here?"

"Well Sam called me and told me everything and as soon as I could I booked a flight out here did you really think that I wouldn't come Amelia I mean Val is like my second daughter."

Addison embraced Amelia in a tight hug before making her way to Valentina where she embraced her niece just as tightly, soon everyone's attention turned to Tom and Alex."

"Well since everyone is here we'll go over the plan for this afternoon, I'll perform a craniotomy then clip all of the necessary vessels after that I should be able to scoop the tumour I don't like the swelling around the tumour but I have to dance with the girl who brought me here, I assume you all have questions."

After this Derek spoke up with all of the questions he wanted answered.

"How many of these have you done?"

"So, so many"

"Also, what is the recovery time?"

"I took a tumour out of cop in roughly the same place he was talking day one and walking day one and out within a week."

Seeing as though no one had any more questions Tom left the room to prep for surgery.

"Alright I will see you in the after party and mini Shepherd don't pull any tricks on me in there."

"You can count on it Tom."

"He's seems pretty arrogant and confident about the surgery."

"Well he is a show boat mum but as long as he gets it out of her that's all I care about."

Carolyn nodded at Amelia's statement and soon everyone in the room started talking catching up on each other lives until the came nurse to take Valentina around to theatre the family walked to the gallery and Amelia walked with her daughter until she got to the point where she was no longer allowed the nurse left the mother and daughter for a few minutes.

"Val this is where I leave you but just know that whatever happens I love you princess you are the most amazing daughter and never in million years could I have asked for a better daughter you are a blessing Valentina Addison Shepherd."

As she talked to her daughter she began shedding a few tears, Valentina looked at her mum and couldn't help shedding a few of her own.

"Mum I love you and trust me when I say I could not have been luckier to have you as my mum I love you with all my heart and trust me when I say that I will be back and as good as new."

Amelia kissed Valentina on the forehead before leaving and heading to the gallery to watch her daughter's surgery, the nurse wheeled Valentina to the operating room where they transferred her to the table she could see her whole family smiling down at her and standing in her mum's infamous superhero pose.

"Alright are you ready mini Shepherd."

"Yes I am."

After this the mask was placed over her face and before long everything went dark.

 _Authors note: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter let me know what you think as every review helps me out tremendously xxx._


	9. Chapter 9

_Authors note: Hey guys so I know that it has been sometime since I last updated this book and for that I am truly sorry now as I explained in some of my other stories I have been super busy with medical school but I promise to finish this story for you guys so let me know what you all think as it does help me out so much anyways xxxx._

The wait for Amelia was agonising it was only the first hour of her daughters 6-hour surgery and she was not sure how she was going to get through the next 5 hours. They were operating on Val in the O.R with the gallery but everyone thought it would be best if Amelia was not in the gallery but instead have someone sit there for an hour at a time and give her an update and despite her complete dislike for the idea she knew it was for the best, considering they did not want Tom making a mistake because Amelia's panic if something was to go south during the surgery. So there Amelia was pacing around the waiting room with Ryan whilst they waited for Addison to come back with an update before Derek would take over and watch in the gallery for the next hour.

"Amelia maybe you should sit down I know you are scared but pacing around the waiting room won't make the time pass any quicker."

"I know Ryan but right now pacing around the room is the only thing preventing me from walking into that gallery and watching the surgery I mean I hate it because for the first time ever I have, no control of the situation I can't control my daughter's surgery and that scares me I mean she is my light and for a long time was the only reason I wanted to get up and do something with my life and I can't lose her I just can't."

Ryan could see Amelia beginning to break down he knew it was not often when Amelia was this raw or exposed she hated showing her vulnerability to people and would only expose this side of her to those that she cared about. So, he did the only thing he could do and that was to embrace her and let her cry it out because he knew she desperately needed to do that and the minute she was in his arms she began to sob and so for some time he held her while she cried it all out. It, was only when he heard the sound of high heels did he notice Addison walking towards them so he nudged Amelia to let her know of Addison's presence.

"Addie tell me how it is going, is she okay what's happening."

"It is going well Amelia she is stable and Tom has almost finished the craniotomy and she is doing well but you know the real test is going to be once he reaches the tumour and removes it."

"I know Addie but I'm just relieved that so far she is doing well and I just hope that the rest of the surgery goes just as well because I need my daughter to be okay I just need Valentina to get through this."

"She will Amelia trust me you know Val as well as I do she is a fighter and god knows how much she has gone through over the years and yet she still fought she is strong something she got from you and she is also resilient she will get through this and make it to the other side."

Just then Derek walked to the waiting room he could see from Amy's face that Addison must have had good news about the surgery so far and he hoped he would have the same type of news to share once his hour was over.

"Hey Amy how is it going so far?"

"Uh good so far Addie said she was stable for the first hour so now we'll wait for you in another or so."

"That's good well Meredith and I are going to watch the surgery now we'll be out in hour and we'll let you know how she is progressing."

Amelia hugged Derek tightly before letting him go, Derek was hoping to have the same news for Amelia and while on the outside he appeared as though he was calm and composed on the inside he was just as scared. He had a better understanding for patient's family now and how they feel not being in control and having to sit around and wait it was painfully agonising. However right now he had to leave all feelings and emotions aside for his sister and niece and do what he promised keep calm and give Amelia an update.

He walked in and took next to Mere in the front row of the gallery from down below things appeared to be going well it seemed as though Tom had started clipping all of the surrounding vessels and now he was probing the area to ensure that everything was intact. After that was done he noticed Tom bringing the portable CT scan in and got a couple of pictures which Derek assumed was him checking the margins and making sure that tumour had not grown from the original CT scan and so far, it was going the way everyone had hoped it would.

"Everything seems to be going well down there Mere?"

"Yeah it is so far he's got clean margins how's Amelia holding up?"

"She's alright so far anxious but Ryan and Addison are with her at the moment we'll join them when mum and Lizzie take over for us."

"Well that's good at least she's holding it together, I know it's hard for her to be out there and not here."

"I know but right now it's the best thing for her the surgery is hard enough without having her getting panicked about everything especially if he hits any minor bleeding."

Meredith simply nodded and the two continued watching the surgery periodically some of the staff from Grey Sloan would come in and watch the surgery. Before leaving to check on their patients, it seemed that everything was going to plan until about 40 minutes of Meredith and Derek sitting there. Tom had just reached the Tumour and was beginning to remove it in pieces but as he was starting to remove the first piece it began to bleed and suddenly the monitors began going off.

"No, come on Val don't do this to us come on Val."

Meredith could hear Derek panic as he said that and while she herself was not a woman of god. She did find herself silently praying to a god she did not believe in to make sure that she would be fine and after 10 intense minutes Tom had the bleeder firmly under control allowing everyone to breathe a sigh of relief.

"God that scary was Meredith I'm glad she held on there."

"yeah I know are we going to tell Amelia about it?"

"yeah, we will we can't keep it from her I'm just hoping she'll get through the rest of the surgery without any more issues also Meredith is it just me or does it look like that Amelia might be pregnant, I meant to ask you about it sooner but I've noticed recently that her stomach seems to be getting bigger and when I hugged her. I'm certain I felt her stomach kick so I'm seriously wondering if she is pregnant."

"You're not the only one who has noticed Derek I had my suspicions but I didn't want to say anything though but I'm just concerned about the child. I know that both Ryan and Amelia have sobered up and are now completely drug free and, in all honesty, Ryan has changed a lot from when we first heard about him. However, I'm worried they will go back to using again or something else will happen and with everything going on with Val it's got me even more worried about the safety of her baby."

"I know what you mean Mere but if she is indeed pregnant we just have to support them and keep an eye on both of them and make sure neither is using although Ryan did mention to me that if he was to have kids with Amelia. That he would not go back to using ever again as he said he didn't want any of his growing up with drugs. Also, he's now in medical school and so I don't think he wants to screw it all up now I think he's knows there is way too much at stake, and as much as I don't like admitting it he is good for Amelia he keeps her in check and he's really been committed to making sure Amelia stays clean."

"yeah, I get what you are saying Derek I just hope that you are right but I guess we will have to what and see what happens."

Derek nodded and the two continued watching the surgery and until Carolyn and Lizzie took over and Meredith and Derek left to update Amelia and so it went on. They would rotate who was in the gallery and someone would stay with Amelia until finally after 6 and half hours later Tom had finished the final suture and was ready to go tell Amelia how it all went.

For Amelia seeing Tom was probably the most anxious part of the whole thing even though everyone was providing updates it didn't do much to ease her panic but seeing Tom Amelia knew that if he had good news that would be the relief she needed.

"How is she Tom did you remove it all?"

"I got it all, I did encounter some bleeding and she did give a small fright but aside from that I got it all the incision looks clean and the margins are clear as well so it went as well as we could have hoped for now we just have to wait for mini Shepherd to wake up and check that her motor function all is good and she should be good to go."

After this Amelia went and hugged Tom and while he was not one for displays of affection like this he did understand why she was doing this and being reminded of the painful death of his own son, he knew what saving Valentina meant to Amelia and understood completely why she was feeling this way.

"Thank you, Tom thank you I'm so glad you got it all when will we have the final biopsy results of the tumour?"

"Radiology said they will expedite the results so I suspect in two to three days we should have a final result of what the tumour was however it did look malignant when I removed it so I won't be surprised if it comes back as being a secondary deposit, of lymphoma."

"Is Val in the PICU yet?"

"She should be however I want to restrict it to two visitors at a time with the exception of you Amelia she'll need the rest although I don't expect that she will be awake till tomorrow also it will 5 minutes per visitors we want to reduce the noise and all that until she is awake and alert."

"I understand."

With that Tom left for the PICU to do the post op checks Amelia and everyone followed him and Amelia and Tom walked in while everyone waited outside. When shined the light into Valentina's eyes she reacted and was able to respond to the various stimulus however it would be when she woke up that they would know that all went well.

For Amelia seeing her daughter lie there with tubes connected to her and bandages wrapped around her head was hard sure she was used to seeing this. With all of her patients and it never bothered her but seeing her own daughter in the same position as most of her other patients was hard and definitely caused Amelia to have a lot more empathy towards her own patients. However, she did take comfort in the fact that her daughter had made it through and after she recovered the real battle would begin and Amelia knew. That, particular challenge was going to be a rough one but she was determined to be there for her daughter and make sure that they got through it together she wanted her unborn baby to have its older sister and she was going to make sure it happened no matter what it took to achieve that goal.

 _Authors note: so I hope you guys like that chapter let me know what you all thought of it also for my next story would you guys be interested in me writing a prequal for this story after I have completed this one it would centre around their time in L.A and go through all of the challenges during that period let me know alright anyways I hope you like it and after the 25_ _th_ _I will update again xxx._


	10. Chapter 10

_Hello guys how are you all, so first off for those who reviewed thank you so much it means a lot hearing from you guys, now I have finally finished my exams which means I can update and hopefully finish all of my books within the next four weeks. Anyways I hope you guys like this chapter let me know what you think also let me know I you guys want a prequal for this story once I have finished it xxxx._

The whole night Amelia sat by her daughter's bedside and every time she would look at her she just kept thinking about how unfair life had been to her daughter. She also felt a tremendous amount of guilt since she knew how her poor choices were often the reason why life had been unbelievably cruel towards her daughter, Amelia knew that with her second child being born in a matter of months that it would be her chance to be the mother she should have been from the beginning. She also knew that for the next few months she was going to have to be Valentina's rock especially during the days when Valentina would be vulnerable and ready to throw in the towel. She knew that she would have to take on the role her daughter had taken her entire life and get her through the chemo treatments and anything else that will come their way, as she was contemplating everything she did not notice Ryan walk into the room until she felt him hug her from behind.

"Any changes?"

"No not yet she probably won't be awake until sometime tomorrow but even then, this is the easy part the chemo treatment is what will really knock her down and I just have to be there to pick her back up and give her reasons to go on. Although I don't know how I'm going to find the strength to see her go through all of this god I wish I could take her place it just isn't fair that it has to be her."

"I know it's going to be tough Amelia but we'll all be there for her and you we're going to get you both through this and the arrival of our son will hopefully bring some much-needed happiness, but she is going to beat the cancer and we'll all be there with her the whole time."

Amelia didn't say anything but offer Ryan her trademark smile while she was sure. Her family and friends felt different she was truly grateful that she had him and that he was going to stick around for their family and she was even more grateful. For his support and devotion towards getting Valentina better it made her love and appreciate him even more and so for the rest of the night the two of them sat by her bedside waiting for her to wake up. Morning soon came through and both Amelia and Ryan had fallen asleep on the couch and were so deep in sleep. That when Derek nudged them on the shoulder it startled them both and when they looked at their phones they realised it was 7 in the morning.

"Hey guys did you sleep much last night?"

"Hey Derek and no we didn't I think Ryan and I fell asleep at 4 am I didn't want to fall asleep in case she woke up but as soon as we sat on the couch we fell asleep straight away."

"There have been no changes I assume?"

"No, she still hasn't woken up I'm hoping she will sometime today but you know everyone is different with recovery time."

"I get it have you figured out what you will do about her going to school and everything?"

"No with everything going on I haven't had time to think about it but honestly I'm thinking of having her be home schooled because of the amount of time she'll be in hospital she'll hardly ever be at school so I think it's better if we home school her for the year."

"Well that seems like a good idea that way she can do all of her work online and what are you going to about work?"

"I've put in for a leave of absence for now I know you wanted me to run the department but honestly taking care of her is going to be a fulltime job and she's going to need me now more than ever."

"It's fine Amy I understand you have to be there for Val completely I mean god only knows how awful chemo is going to be for her and she's going to need us for support the whole time."

Amelia simply nodded at Derek and the three of them made simple conversation before Addison, Sam and Meredith walked in everyone would look at Valentina periodically to see if she was showing signs of waking up but they didn't notice anything, however two hours later Samantha noticed Val's eyes beginning and to flutter and soon everyone's attention shifted straight onto Val.

"Someone page Tom and tell him she's waking up."

As she began to wakeup Valentina couldn't help but feel extremely disorientated, she also felt like her head had taken a blow by a bulldozer and as she became more aware of her surroundings she saw all of her family starring at her. She didn't remember much except for lying on a gurney in an operating room after that everything was a blank and after a few minutes she saw Tom step into the room and walk over to her bedside.

"Valentina can you hear me?"

Valentina couldn't speak for the moment her mouth was too dry so she simply nodded.

"Good, alright can you follow the light for me?"

Once again, she followed Tom's command, after that she motioned for someone to give her some water so her mum handed her a cup of water with a straw in it after that she was able to speak.

"Excellent Valentina now can you wiggle your toes and fingers?"

Valentina followed the commands again much to the delight of everyone in the room.

"Good alright I'm now going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer yes or no, okay do you know where you are?"

"Yes, I'm in hospital."

"Is your mum's name Amelia?"

"Yes."

"Is she a trauma surgeon?"

"No."

"How many siblings does your mum have?"

"4 of them."

"That's good Valentina, well in any case the surgery seems to have been extremely successful and she's following all of my commands so everything is intact in a few days I'll remove her bandages but so far I'm happy with her overall progress."

"Thank you, Tom for everything."

"You're welcome Amelia I'll be back later to check on her."

With that Tom left the room leaving everyone else to focus on Valentina it was as if a weight had been lifted off of everyone's shoulders. She made it through the first hurdle it was now a matter of getting her through the next phase which everyone knew would prove to be the most challenging part. For Amelia though she couldn't be happier at the fact that her daughter had made it through the surgery with no lasting effects.

"I'm so glad you are okay Val."

"I told you I'd get through this mum there is no way cancer is going to win I'm going to kick its butt."

"Yeah you are and we will all be right beside you every step of the way we're all going to fight with you okay."

"Okay mum."

Over the next few days things seemed to be progressing well for Valentina and after three days she was up and walking, that also happened to be the day they got the final results of the tumour. The results turned out to be a secondary deposit of the lymphoma something that didn't come as a surprise to everyone but it was now a week after her brain surgery and it now meant she had to start chemo. Something Valentina was completely dreading but there was also another element of surprise that she was not looking forward to the hospital had a policy set in place children suffering from cancer had to undertake mandatory therapy sessions. Apparently, it was to make sure that the patients were in the right head space and Valentina had no desire to open up to a therapist about anything.

"I just hate the idea of talking to a shrink about anything I like not having to share things."

"I Know you don't like the idea and believe me I don't feel you need it but I don't have a choice and maybe it'll only be one session and then you won't have to go through it again."

"Okay mum you worked with Sheldon and Violet do you honestly think a shrink is only going to have one session with me especially if any of the events of L.A were somehow recorded."

"Okay you have a point there but who knows maybe the shrink won't see through you."

Valentina simply shook her head at her mum's statement and the two of them carried on with their conversation before a young blonde woman walked into the room.

"Hello I'm Lisa Pikes, I'm the therapist assigned to Valentina and you must be her mum Amelia?"

"Yes, I am it's nice to meet you."

"Alright well for today I would like to get to know Valentina so are you comfortable with it being just the two of us for today."

"I don't have any issues with it unless Val does?"

"There aren't any issues with that for me I'm fine with it being just the two of us."

"Excellent well how about we begin the first session now and then if I feel we need more sessions I'll arrange for them."

With that Amelia left the room and headed down to the cafeteria leaving Valentina and Lisa alone in the room and now came the moment Valentina dreaded she now had to share information, with this therapist she just hoped she could avoid any invasive questions.

 _Alright guys so I hope you liked that chapter I apologise if it's shorter than usual but I promise next chapter will be longer and over the next few chapters we are going to tackle her issues in L.A head on but anyways let me know what you all thought as it does help me and I will post again sometime next week xxxx._


	11. Chapter 11

_Hello everyone how is you all, so for those who reviewed and read my last chapter thank you all so much it means the world to me now I hope you all like this chapter and let me know of your thoughts xxxx._

"All right Valentina so I was thinking that maybe we should start by getting to know each other better because I want you to be comfortable with me so why don't you start by telling me about yourself."

Valentina knew she had to be careful about how she answered this she didn't want to give much away but she also wanted to avoid creating any suspicion that she was, withholding any information so she knew her answer would be critical if she wanted to avoid further sessions.

"Well there honestly isn't a whole lot to say really I mean I'm 16, I recently moved from L.A with my mum and her fiancé because my mum got a better job offer."

"Okay and what do you like to do for fun do you have any hobbies?"

"I like shopping but honestly that's it I don't really have hobbies it was not my thing."

"Okay and with your friends did you only ever go shopping or did you guys hangout at your home or anything like that?"

"I mean my friends would come over and occasionally we would go to the beach since our backyard was the beach but that was it."

"Okay so I'm wondering is there any particular reason you don't like talking about L.A because I'm just concerned that you're not opening up completely about your time in L.A?"

"Honestly I'm just not a person who did much in L.A I was the quiet kid I spent a lot of time with my mum at the hospital and hanging out with my friends apart from that there isn't a whole lot to say about L.A"

Lisa was now certain that Valentina wasn't being completely honest about her time in L.A and she now knew that she was going to have to work on Valentina and get her to break down the walls she seems to have built up.

"Alright well why don't we talk about your diagnosis I'm sure getting that news was upsetting for you so why don't you tell me how you feel about it all."

"I don't know I guess I'm scared I never talk about my feelings it's never been my strong point but honestly I'm scared that the treatment won't work. That I'll die from it or that if I don't make it through the impact it will have on my mum."

"Well that's completely understandable that you would be frightened about the possible outcomes and I know that none of this is easy on anyone, but what I want to talk about is your mum you mentioned you were worried about what the impact it was having on her?"

"My mum has never been good with dealing things she doesn't like feeling it but rather she likes to keep it bottled up and I know for a long time I was the sole reason. She was motivated to do just about anything in her life I was her motivation and I'm worried that if I don't make it through that she will lose all motivation to do anything and I don't want that for her."

"So, what you are saying is you are concerned that if you were to die that your mum. Won't be able to deal with it and has anything happened in the past that has lead you to believe this?"

"Yeah basically that's what I'm trying to say and no there hasn't been anything that has occurred in the past. It's just that for 16 years it has only been me and my mum and we always did everything together I was her rock that's why I feel that way."

Lisa knew there was a lot more to this story then what Valentina was admitting and she knew that whatever, was lurking beneath the exterior was something serious. Something she knew Valentina was not willing to discuss but she also knew this girl needed to break down her barriers and let people in. So, Lisa knew her job was now going to be getting Valentina to start communicating more and getting her to open up more especially to those closest to her, but she knew that at least for today she was not going to pry more information out of her so she thought it would be best to end the session there for today.

"Alright I think we should leave it there today and next week I'll set up another time to come and talk with you because there is a lot more to discuss but for now we should leave it there."

"Alright that sounds good I guess I'll see you next week."

Lisa noted the sarcasm in Valentina's voice she knew that the teen was not happy about having more session's but Lisa knew she had to get her talking and the only way she would do so. Was by organising more sessions so that the teen would eventually be more comfortable with sharing and opening up. At that moment Lisa saw Amelia coming back to the room and she decided to speak with her before she walked back into the room.

"Amelia is it alright that I speak with you before you go back in there I want to discuss the events of today."

"Uh sure I guess, what did she have to say?"

"Well that's the thing I'm going to schedule more sessions because it seems as though Valentina really isn't comfortable about opening. Up especially when I bring up L.A and I think it's detrimental that we get her talking and learning how to communicate, so I want to know if there was anything that happened in L.A that would cause her to not want to talk about it?"

"We went through some things in L.A but I mean we got through them and honestly she just doesn't like talking about feelings she's just not that type of a person she's never been good at it."

"Alright that's fine I will see her the same time next week but thanks for the insight about everything."

Lisa could tell quite clearly that Amelia was not going to offer any information which meant that she would have to do some digging about their time in L.A she just hoped that something was recorded that would give her the information she needed. So, she returned back to her office and went digging through patient databases she also went to consult her past cases to see if there was, any similar behaviour patterns, it seemed that her investigation had paid off she was able to see that Amelia had a no narcotic's request and when she went through past cases. She noted that teens who were exposed to addiction often showed similar behaviour patterns building walls as a shield to protect themselves. She also ran an internet search and at first it didn't yield any initial results but she was able to find an article in 1996, about Amelia crashing her brother's car and her overdosing on narcotics and now she was sure about what they were hiding it would now be a matter of getting them to talk.

Over the course of the next few days chemo was beginning to take a toll on Valentina she was facing the full force of the side effects chemo came with and seeing her precious daughter suffer was breaking Amelia to pieces she only wished she could trade places with her daughter.

"Val how's the nausea is it beginning to stop?"

"No not really mum and it sucks I can't eat anything because if I do all I want do immediately afterwards is throw up again and I'm tired of vomiting constantly."

"Alright I'll see if Alex can give you any anti-nausea medication to try and stop it so you can because if we can't get you to eat they're going to have put a Ng tube in and that is extremely uncomfortable."

"Alright mum just gets, him to give me whatever because I can't take much more of this, also I'm wondering when you are planning on telling everyone about the pregnancy, because you won't be able to hide that baby bump much longer."

"God, I haven't even thought about that I've only gone and gotten ultrasounds and your brother is happy and healthy but you're right I am going to have to tell everyone so it may as well be today. The family and Ryan are supposed to be coming by this afternoon so we'll tell them all then and hopefully everyone will be happy about it this time."

"I'm sure they will be mum everything is different now they have no real excuse this time."

Amelia wanted to share Valentina's optimism but she also knew her family all too well and how judgemental they could be in terms of the baby's father and the circumstances of her unborn baby's conception but she also knew that she would. Not allow any negativity knock her down like it did last time no with everything going on she had no time for it and she was not going to allow them to ruin the moment. It was around 4pm when everyone showed up and Amelia had talked to Ryan about sharing the news and he agreed now was the time to do so.

"Hey everyone can I have your attention there is something Ryan and I have to tell you, something we've been hiding and no it's not a bad thing at least not to us it isn't but we are expecting a healthy baby boy in four months."

Everyone in the room looked at Amelia and Ryan in shock, however Amelia took note of Meredith and Derek's expression Amelia had sensed that they had probably figured it out already. She also saw her mum's expression being similar to Derek's although this time it was as if she was happy about the news because her face was different from last time. As usual her sisters were not giving anything away with their expressions and Addison and Sam stood there beaming for them."

"So, I'm going to be a grandma again?"

"Yeah you are, please tell me you are happy about it?"

"Oh Amelia of course I am, I know last time I wasn't and I'm so sorry about that but this time I truly am happy about it."

"I'm glad that Meredith and I get the chance to be an aunt and uncle again but we had a bet going on when you were going to tell us we figured it out a few weeks ago."

"I can't believe it Amelia you're going to make an Aunt again."

"Yeah, I am Addie and Nancy, Kate, Lizzie how do you guys feel about it?"

"We are happy for you Amelia and as mum said before we should have been there the first time but we will be there this time the whole way through you can count on it."

Kate and Lizzie nodded at Nancy's words and for the first time in a long time Amelia. Was truly happy that her whole family was there to support them and although, it was somewhat bitter sweet given what happened the first time she was just grateful they were all there supporting her.

"Val how do you feel about being a big sister for the first time?"

"I'm honestly so excited for the first time ever I'm going to get a dream that I didn't even think would be possible something up until recently would always be a dream and I can't wait to hold him and tell him how much I love him; do you have any names for the baby?"

"We have a middle name but no definite first name yet but I'm just glad everyone is happy god only knows we could use a little happiness around here."

A week soon passed with Valentina's chemo treatments becoming more and more intense. But it was now time for her second therapy appointment and she was not in the mood to talk to the shrink she was hopping the session wouldn't be too long. Walking into the room Lisa noted that the teen seemed rather angry and somewhat moody, but Lisa attributed that to the treatments and the effects they were having on her but nevertheless she hopeful the teen would open up more.

"Hey Valentina how are you today?"

"Fine"

"How have your treatments been I understand you had your first round of chemo this week?"

"How do you think they were all I do is vomit and lie in this bed feeling like utter crap all the time."

"Alright and do you want to talk about it and how you feel?"

"No not really if it's all the same to you I really don't want to talk about anything."

"I know you might feel this way right now but I do believe it would be good for you talk you seem to have a lot of built up anger I just think it would be good to get it all out."

"Yeah no like I said before I don't want to talk at all."

Valentina didn't mean to be bitter and harsh but the effects of chemo were wearing, her thin and having the shrink bother her with stupid questions was only proving to annoy her even more.

"Alright well why don't we talk about L.A I understand that you experienced someone close to you suffering from addiction?"

At the mention of Addiction that got Valentina's attention how on earth did the therapist know about that at first, she assumed her mum but then she remembered. Her mum hated talking about that part of their lives so there was no way she would have volunteered that information up to the shrink.

"What makes you think I've seen someone close to me suffer from addiction?"

"Well from my experience the behaviour you are exhibiting mimics that of people who have seen addiction first hand?"

"Yeah well you have no clue what you are talking about I've never seen anyone suffer from addiction before."

Lisa knew at this point Valentina was clearly lying about that but she had to give it to the teen. Most people never would have picked up that she was lying she was good at it and clearly experienced at lying, this only made Lisa even more curious about what the teen was hiding, because whatever it was it was clear that it was not something she would share easily.

"I understand that you are angry about what happened in L.A but I also know that you are lying I know seeing people go through addiction is tough but I also know it's more difficult when it's your parent going through it."

"My mum did not have any type of addiction and I'm not lying about anything there was nothing significant that happened in L.A honestly can we end the session there is nothing more for me to say."

"Alright well I guess we can leave it for today but I will see you next week at the same time."

"Seriously Lady I don't know what you think I'm hiding but I can tell you right now there is nothing to talk about."

"I think for so long you've been able to lie your way at out of things as a way to not expose your vulnerability and I think for the first time someone is trying to expose it and your response is to become defensive, I know you think that I'm nosey or that I'm prying into your business but I also know that you have a lot of unresolved emotions so I'll see you in a week."

If Valentina wasn't annoyed or angry before she certainly was now she didn't understand why this woman was determined to discuss things that she clearly didn't want to talk about. However, Valentina knew that she was right about her not wanting to appear vulnerable, for years she has always held a hard shell that made her strong but also served as her protection and now here this shrink was determined to break down the protection she had built up.

 _Alright guys so originally I wasn't going to upload two chapters however since I had the other one already written I figured why not, now the next chapter is probably my favourite one I have written so far, I hope you guys liked this chapter and tell me what you all thought of it as always xxxx._


	12. Chapter 12

_Authors note: Hey guys so first up I hope you guys liked the last chapter now with this one I am going to place a_ _ **TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter mentions rape and violence it also mentions drug abuse and alcohol abuse. So, if you are triggered by any of those things I advise you not to read the next two chapters and instead read the authors note on part two when I briefly touch on what happen without going into detail.**_ _With that being said though these two chapters are my favourite of what I have written so far and I had to split it in half. As it was originally 8,000 words long which I thought was too long for one chapter anyways let me know what you think and I will have part two up in a few days xxxx_

It had been two weeks since Valentina had begun her mandatory therapy sessions with the therapist, Valentina by no means wanted to speak with this woman she kept asking about her time in L.A and every time she had attempted to dodge those questions. Often trying to steer the conversations to other topics yet her therapist still brought the conversation back to L.A so Valentina thought it might be a good idea to tell her a little bit about L.A in an attempt to have stop asking questions. Unfortunately for Val it only caused her to ask more questions about her time there something that only annoyed her to no end.

"So, Val I want to talk about your time in L.A I've noticed that during our last two sessions you haven't been willing to talk about it or you haven't been completely truthful. So why don't we start with this what were you really like in L.A, what did you do over there and what were your friends like there?"

"I don't know I guess I got a reputation in L.A as being a bit of a whore, I was the most popular girl in school and I was always at parties or I would hold them myself and I got good grades always straight A's."

"Ok so you mentioned that you got a reputation as being a bit of a whore what did you mean by that because that's a very specific word to use to describe yourself."

"I mean it the way it's supposed to mean I was a whore I would often sleep around with a lot of guys and everyone at school knew, it that's how I got that reputation everyone at school knew my mum and I liked to sleep around and that we weren't ashamed of it."

"I see and how old were you when you first had sex?"

"I was fourteen the first time I had sex I lost my virginity about two weeks after my fourteenth birthday."

Valentina could see from her therapist's expression that she was a little taken aback about how young she was and that was something that never surprised Valentina in fact she was used to most adults having a similar reaction.

"Ok so you were pretty young when you lost it what made you want to lose it so early?"

"Well I guess I always grew up with sex being a normal thing I mean my mum never really made it a secret that she liked to sleep around and by the time, I was old enough to understand I knew what happened every time a random guy would walk downstairs. Also, my mum and her friends at the private practice loved talking about their sex stories and so my cousin Sam and I wanted to find out what it was all about, so we made an agreement that we would lose it shortly after our fourteenth birthday and so we did and after that it just became a normal thing for me."

"Ok so do you regret losing it so young and how did you feel after the first time you had sex?"

"I don't regret losing that young I only regret that it wasn't with someone who mattered to me that's all and I felt a little sore after my first time but I honestly didn't feel any different I guess it didn't matter as much to me."

"I understand and so after that did you tell your mum or how long was it before you told her?"

"I told her the day I lost it she got me on birth control and we had a never-ending supply of condoms in the house."

"Alright and what was your mum's reaction when you told her?"

"She was sort of happy about it I guess she was more interested about who I slept with and where we did it I mean she high-fived me for it."

"So, it seems as if she didn't care that you lost it would I be right?"

"I guess you could say that I mean she always told me to lose it when I was ready and comfortable to do so."

"Alright so did you and your mum have any more open discussions about sex or was that the only time you both discussed your sexual activities?"

"Yeah we talked about it a lot I mean I used to sit in the kitchen in the practice or in my aunt Addison's living room with all of my mum's friends and we would talk about the guys we slept with and whether we thought they were good in bed or not it was pretty interesting."

"Well that's good that you were having continual open discussions about that and so how did the kids in your school give you the reputation?"

"Well I slept with most of the guys in my year level at the time and when I got high-school I had slept with most of the guys in the year levels above me and so I got that reputation."

"Alright and how did you feel when people gave you that reputation?"

"I was sort of proud of it my mum and I have always been open about our sexuality so I was kind of happy when I found out about it I mean my mum had the same reputation."

"Well alright then so how about we talk about your friends what were they like you mentioned that you were the most popular girl in school?"

"My friends were good but they were also the sort of people that people like your uptight law-abiding Christians would not allow their kids to hang out with."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well my group of friends were the sort of people that would party every weekend, the people who liked to smoke and all of us girls were always interested in what boy we would hook-up with next I mean we would sometimes cut class, they were loyal friends but they weren't always the best influence."

"I get it and so I assume that this was the group that the majority of school wanted to be like?"

"Yeah pretty much everyone was trying to be like us and do what we do and they would always get excited whenever we invited them to one of our parties because it meant that they were becoming popular or whatever."

"I understand that and the parties you threw or attended what were they like what did you all do?"

"Well the parties were often the wild and crazy parties with a lot of people it often involved a lot of drinking and people doing all sorts of crazy things like streaking or them vandalising things I mean most of the time the police were called to shut it down."

"Alright and what about your parties did they ever get shut down by the police?"

"Yeah my house was notorious for throwing parties that got shut down by the police my house was backing the beach and so that meant it was a good place to throw large parties. I know a lot of my neighbours hated me for it because there would always be teens making a lot of noise and causing a major disturbance."

"So where was your mum when these parties were being thrown and did she know about these parties that you threw?"

"Picking up guys and sleeping at their house and she always knew about the parties because I would tell her and she always left money for everything, my mum and I were crazy in L.A we were wild and that's how most people knew us to be."

"I get it so from what I understand you were a party girl who got good grades but liked to get crazy and have a good time would that be accurate."

"Pretty much that's the only way to describe my L.A life."

"Alright well what I want to touch on now is your mum's drug and alcohol addiction would you be willing to talk a bit about that period?"

"Not really it's not something I like talk about it was a dark time in my life and not something I really like to discuss at all in fact I try to forget that period of my life even existed."

"I understand why you may not like to talk about it but I do think it can help you a lot if you open up about that time in your life what we talk about won't be discussed with anyone else if you choose for it not to be."

Valentina sat in her bed and thought about it for a while she knew that at some point she would have to talk about it and let it out to someone and she knew. her therapist couldn't discuss anything that was said between them if Valentina didn't want her to, and so for the first time she decided to do something she never thought she would do in a million years she decided to talk about it.

"Maybe I would be willing to talk about it a little bit."

"That's fine it's a very good start so why don't you tell me about how she got back onto the drugs and alcohol and we'll go from there."

"Well at first it started with my mum going into bars and getting blind drunk she would stand on bars and dance around and I guess get a bit crazy one night she fell and cut her hand open. She fixed it herself but after that night her drinking got worse she'd come to work drunk and treat patients or operate on them when she was drunk, so my aunt Charlotte started watching her more closing she'd try to get my mum to meetings and my mum would make excuses. As to why she couldn't go and my mum started buying more alcohol and would drink at home, at first, I figured one of my aunts would help her out and get her off of the alcohol and get her to meetings but I had no idea she was making excuses and refusing help. Then her friend Michelle came back into town and she wanted my mum to assist her with her suicide and at first she agreed but eventually they made an agreement that my mum would stop drinking if Michelle didn't commit suicide and so they tried to stick with it but Michelle ended up killing herself and my mum found her dead from then on that's when the problems really began setting in."

"Ok so it seemed as if your mum had been struggling for a while but the death of her friend really set her over the edge would that be correct?"

"Yeah pretty much."

"Alright and what happened after Michelle's death you said that your mum's addiction really set in from then on?"

"Yeah after that my mum began drinking more heavily and one night she was at a bar and that's where she met Ryan, however that night she was mixing pills with her drinks so she had no clue as to what Ryan was doing in her bed the next morning she got up. So, she kicked him out because she had work and that morning I hadn't left for school yet when Ryan came downstairs so I saw him walking downstairs and I guess he was surprised to see me as I was to see him. So, I quickly got everything ready for school and left and at first, I assumed he would leave just like everyone else I mean every other guy would leave and I would never see them again. However, when I got home from school I found my mum's top on the floor and I found a man's jacket and shoes left close by and then I walked up to my room and I heard a lot of moaning in my mum's room and I knew what was happening so I left for a while and I figured I would come home when they were done.

So, I went shopping for a few hours and came home later in the evening then when I got home Ryan's clothes were still left where I found them and my house phone. Started ringing and when I answered it my aunt Charlotte was calling to find out where my mum was and why she wasn't answering her pages apparently, she had a patient who needed emergency surgery but she wasn't responding to any of her pages. What none of us knew at the time was that she wasn't answering as she was high on Oxycodone, so I stayed in the living room and watched tv for a while and I saw Ryan come downstairs and he had a piece of paper. In his hand which turned out to be a prescription for Oxy and he left to go and get some more drugs and in the meantime my aunt Charlotte, came over and her and my mum got into an argument and my mum quit her job. After that Ryan came back as soon as my aunt Charlotte was leaving and then my mum introduced me to him and at first, I wasn't sure what to make of him I mean he honestly didn't seem like he was the type of person who did much.

Then, the next day I woke up and I saw Ryan standing on the deck and then the door opened and my aunt Addison walked in and she saw Ryan so she introduced herself to him, and then my mum walked downstairs half naked and she lied to my aunt. Saying that she was taking the day off to go and have sex with Ryan all day and my aunt didn't question it and neither did I although I feel bad now when I think about it for not realising how much trouble she was in. So, I went to school but as I was leaving I could see the empty alcohol bottles around the house and I knew they had been drinking, then when I got home I found my mum and Ryan on the deck with a bottle of whiskey and he was doing what appeared to be body shots. Then my aunt Addison came by shortly after I got home and her and my mum had it out and then my mum and Ryan left and they didn't come home that night. My aunt offered for me to stay with her but I was fine I knew how to take care of myself so I stayed at home by myself that night. I then found out from aunt Charlotte later that night that my mum had broken into the practice to get her prescription pad, and my aunt tried taking it off of her but only managed to get one my mum got the other one and then my mum went to the hotel she was staying at with Ryan. Then we found this out later but that night Ryan invited his friends to the hotel and they were all drinking and doing drugs and my mum didn't want them in there so Ryan kicked them out and my mum was coming down from her high. So, Ryan gave her weed to take the edge off and then I guess after that my mum started to get to know these guys a little more to a point where she started allowing them to crash at home, I came home from school one day and that day I happened to come home later since I was at friend's house and all of Ryan's friends. Were in our living room along with my mum and Ryan they were all drinking and doing drugs and this was the first time I had seen them and I didn't like his friends at all they scared me, but I needed to get clothes and stuff for school so I walked in and his friends said hi but one in particular looked at me weirdly. However, I thought nothing of it a first so I got what I needed and I took a cab to my aunt Charlotte's and I stayed there that night but I could only stay one night because the next night she was having Mason and his friends over for the night, so I stayed there then the next morning they had all left my house so I grabbed somethings I had left and went to school.

Then after school I went to a friend's house and I hung out there for some time and then I went home but when I got home they had all returned and so I had to look for somewhere to sleep but none of my friends could have me that night and none of my family could either. I had thought of getting a hotel but I was only fifteen so there was no way I could rent a room for the night so I had to sleep in the park and that was scary."

"I could only imagine how frightening that must have been for you to sleep in a park, do you want to keep going?"

"Sure, so I slept in a park and fortunately that night a kind stranger was handing blankets and pillows out for the homeless and he gave me one. I was worried I would get mugged because I wearing designer clothes and that isn't exactly clothes you want to wear when you are roughing it for a night nevertheless I was lucky everyone left me alone for the night. However, the next night would be the most frightening night of my life I followed the routine I had been following for a few days however when I got home that night no one was there. So, I thought that they were staying in a hotel room for the night and so I went to my room and put my headphones in and I never heard them all coming in and then at about ten o'clock I was thirsty and I wanted to get something to drink, and I saw all of Ryan's friend's downstairs but my mum and Ryan were not down there. They all saw me come down and I couldn't leave as they would see me leave and I didn't want them following me so I went to my room and locked my door, however I forgot that his friends were likely to be criminals and the one that had stared at me funny the first time I saw him. Unlocked my door and I didn't see the knife in his hand but he walked in and he shut my door after that he climbed on top of me I tried screaming for help but he pulled the knife and he threatened to slit my throat if I tried screaming for help and he pulled the knife out and he raped me repeatedly that night."

 _Authors note: I hope you guys liked this chapter and next chapter we are really going to explore her emotions with regards to these events I hope you guys like it let me know what you all thought xxxx._


	13. Chapter 13

_Moving forward chapter 11 part 2_

 _Authors note: I am so sorry for not uploading sooner like I originally planned I've had a few family issues come up over the break as a result I have been unable to like I wanted to, anyways I hope you guys like this chapter let me know what you all think as I love hearing from you guys._

Lisa knew today a lot of progress had been made it seemed as though she finally broke the teens barrier and when she first began the session she was not expecting. Her to open up like this but nothing would prepare her for what the teen was about tell her next and it made her realise then and there the teen had suffered a lot.

"Wow, okay I can only imagine how freighting that would have been for you so what did you do the next day, how did you handle it?"

"Well that night he raped me repeatedly and he slept in my bed with me the whole night and the whole time I cried silently because I didn't want him hearing me in case he would try hurting me again. He didn't leave until 6am the next morning and once everyone had left I got dressed for school, I tried staying for the whole day but the whole school had found out about my mum's addiction and it was becoming school gossip so I lasted until second period after that I went to the girl's toilets and broke down. It was only after an hour or so that I realised I had to get out of there before anyone found me so I went home and I didn't go back to school for nearly 3 weeks after that."

"Alright and in that time what exactly did you do, did you report the rape or anything like that?"

"For the first week and a half I locked myself at home my mum hadn't been at home and no one knew where she was and in the first few days I needed to block out all the pain I was feeling. So instead of telling anyone or reporting it I started drinking my mum had alcohol left all over the house so I began drinking to a point where I would black out all thoughts, however eventually the alcohol was not enough to numb the pain so I began using drugs."

"What kind of drugs were you using?"

"I was snorting oxy, I would get two pills and crush them with a glass I would then get a card and put the powder together and then I snorted it until I was completely high, at first it was weird I wasn't used to the feeling as it was the first time I had used drugs. However eventually it became euphoric for me and I started wanting more to numb the pain but I began to realise that if I wasn't careful I could overdose so in order to take the edge off of my high. I began experimenting with other drugs mum and Ryan had left weed in the house so I rolled it and began smoking it, I then walked the streets and got a hold of speed and started using that. However, after seven days of heavy drinking and drug abuse I began to realise I had to stop using or otherwise I was going to end up where my mum was. So, I managed to wean myself off of the drugs but the alcohol I couldn't let go of."

"Alright and during that time did anyone notice you beginning to spiral out of control?"

"Well the school started wondering where I was and by the fifth day of not coming to school they rang up my house but because I was high and drunk. I never answered it and by the eighth day they rang my aunt Addison who came over to my house. She soon realised I had been drinking heavily but she didn't notice that I had been taking drugs as well and so she took me back to her house and got me sobered up. After that my aunt Charlotte took me to AA meetings but at this point everyone was now concerned as to where my mum was I thought she was dead we all did because no one had heard from her. So, during that time I never slept I just cried and became so distant from the world because I was worried that I was going to get a call from the police saying. I would become an orphan and I knew that if that were to happen I would never have made it because losing my mum would have been the last straw for me."

"Okay and in that time did you tell anyone about the rape after your aunt helped you sober up."

"No, I haven't told anyone except for my cousin Sam everyone else is still in the dark in fact you are the first person to know about my drug addiction no one still knows anything about that."

"Alright well what I want to know about now is did you get any sort of help for the rape you know HIV, STD and STI tests or a pregnancy test?"

"Not right away I got tested for all those things except for pregnancy after I moved here and I came back clean for all of them. With the pregnancy I went and got a blood test because I wasn't getting my period straight away but the blood test came back negative but no one knew about me getting tested for the pregnancy. My cousin Sam only knew about the other tests because she came with me."

"Now that we have sorted that what happened with your mum how did you feel when you realised that she was safe?"

"After 12 days my mum came to the practice and I swear never before in my life I have I ever been so relieved to see her I hugged her so tight and my aunt Addison slapped her in the face but after that we had to help her and Ryan. So, we staged an intervention for her and that was scary to say the least she was angry at us all and when my aunt Addison brought up the story about my grandfather my mum lost it. She threatened to kill her if she ever told anyone that story and then when I tried talking to her and told her she needed help she just told me that I was a waste of space and that she should have aborted me. When she said that I was in utter shock I was also angry and hurt so I got up and did something I've never done before I slapped her and cut her lip. After that she walked out with Ryan and then I called her family hoping that my grandma or my aunts would help, however calling them was useless because they wanted nothing to do with us and they refused to help. Only my uncle would help and he convinced my mum to get clean and so we got her and Ryan clean."

"Alright from what we have discussed so far it's as though you have a lot of unresolved feelings and emotions with regards to the events of L.A. While you may have forgiven your mum you still have some obvious resentment towards her and Ryan but you also have some resentment towards your mum's family would I be right?"

"Yeah pretty much."

"Alright so what I want to discuss next is the reasons as to why you haven't told anyone about what has happened, but also and I must stress that this part is important have you had thoughts about using again or do you feel like you want to use now?"

"I do have days where I feel like I want drugs again some days the need is more intense than other days and I guess I haven't told anyone what I really went through because I didn't want them to feel guilty but I also didn't want their pity."

"So, you feel as though they would all feel guilty, what do you think they'd all feel guilty about?"

"Not being there for me I guess and not protecting me enough particularly my mum and Ryan things have been hard for them and I just don't want them to feel anymore guilt, I've forgiven both of them for what happened in L.A I just don't want to place more guilt on anyone."

"I understand that but they are your family and I'm sure they want to help you and get you through it. I also believe it would be good for you to open up to them and talk about it with them because they need to hear this and I think they need to understand you what you think?"

"I think it might be good I've wanted to tell them but I just don't want them feeling guilty anymore I want to move forward with my life."

"Alright well for next week I want schedule a family therapy session, now I know you aren't comfortable with all of your mum's family so why don't we make it. Your mum, Ryan, Addison, Sam, Derek and Meredith for now because these are the people you are closest with and we can always deal with other family members later on. Also, I am going to give you some medication what that will do is take the edge off of your withdrawal but before I prescribe the medication I need to make sure that it's safe with all of your other medication how do you feel about that?"

"I think that sounds good."

"Excellent and today we have made progress you've done well in opening up and letting your guard down completely and it's good to see you talking about these issues."

With that Lisa left the room and luckily for her everyone she wanted in the therapy session next week happened to be in the parent's kitchen.

"Good you are all here I've finished therapy with Valentina and next week I would like you all to come into therapy and do a group session. She has made a lot of progress but there are somethings you are all not aware of, things that I feel you guys need to know and things that Valentina needs to get off of her chest. Now I will brief you guys on a few things prior to the session so that you are all prepared because some of what will be discussed is confronting and will affect everyone."

"Alright that sounds good but honestly I'm surprised you got my daughter talking to be honest I never thought you would get her to open up."

"Well she's made a lot of progress but right now it's a matter of helping her and getting her in the right head space. It is also a matter of getting her to communicate with you all but particularly Amelia and Ryan since they are her primary care givers and once I help her learn how to talk will then see a real change in her."

Lisa soon left and the family went back into Valentina's room everyone. Was curious and anxious about next week's therapy session since they all wanted to know what exactly Valentina had said, Amelia was especially anxious she dreaded the thought. That she once again had failed her daughter something she knew was a real possibility considering how she had failed her in the past, Amelia knew she had a lot to make up for especially towards her daughter and that idea of having once again failed Valentina weighed heavily on her mind. However, a week soon passed by and before everyone knew it the day of the family therapy session had arrived, to say that everyone who was going to be present in room was feeling anxious was a complete understatement.

"Hello everyone so before we start the session I want to address a few things first up there is going to be mention of violence as well as other sensitive issues, the point of today is for you all to listen to her and not judge her in anyway. So, I want to make certain that before you all go in you have a clear understanding of that."

Everyone simply nodded and headed into her room Amelia could see her daughter looked nervous and that only added to her anxiety and curiousness of what was going to unfold today.

"Alright it's good to see you all here today I know I appreciate you all being here as does Valentina now the aim of today is to have Valentina tell you all some things and for her to realise that it is okay for her to communicate. With you all, since you are her family and it is important for her to do so now I will have Valentina explain what happened in L.A."

"Okay so I know a lot of you are probably wondering what Lisa meant by that but there are some things, that none of you know and there are other things only one person knows. None of this is easy for me and I never thought that I would tell you any of this. However, you all need to know so here it goes mum and Ryan do you all remember when you were using and you would have Ryan's friends come over, so that you could all get high and drink all night."

"Yeah I remember that Val."

"Well mum there is something only one person knows about and it's not pretty but alright, when they came over I never stayed because I was scared of them I didn't like them so I never stayed when they were around. The first night I stayed with aunt Charlotte but the next night I couldn't stay with her and none of my friend's parents could have me the next night and since I couldn't stay anywhere. I had to rough it so I slept in a park it was scary and I was cold but luckily a stranger was handing out blankets and I got one also none of the homeless bothered me so I was able to sleep without any issues. The next night you guys never came home at the usual time so I thought no one would be home that night, I had my headphones on in my room and didn't hear you all come in so I went downstairs to get a drink however all of the guys saw me but you and Ryan weren't there. I wanted to leave but I couldn't because I was afraid they would follow me so I got my drink and went back to my room, but I forgot that your friends were likely to be criminals of some sort so I locked my door. However, one of your friends unlocked the door he then came into my room and he locked the door after that he climbed onto my bed and I didn't see the knife in his hand. So, he got on top of me and attempted to rape me I tried screaming for help but he pulled the knife and threatened to. Slit my throat if I made any more noise, he then said he would kill everyone and because I didn't want to be hurt or anyone else to be hurt I didn't scream and he raped me repeatedly that night."

At that moment Amelia felt all of the guilt flood right through she could not believe that her selfish and destructive choices had caused this, never before had she felt so much shame or feel like a failure as a parent. So, on her motherly instincts she just ran over to her daughter and embraced her and the minute the two of them held each other they began to sob. She couldn't believe, how blind and stupid she had been to not protect the one thing that mattered most to her.

"Oh, Val I'm so, so sorry that I failed you I cannot believe that I wasn't there to protect you. The fact, that you went through this alone is heart breaking I just cannot believe Val I'm sorry for not being the mother. I should have been from the beginning and for allowing my choices and short comings get in the way of being your mum can you forgive me Val?"

"Mum I already forgave you and none of this was yours or Ryan's fault for that matter so please no one in this room blame them or yourselves for what happened. None of you raped me it was his fault and that's something he will have to live with for the rest of his life all I want to do is move forward and tell you all the truth."

"Did anything else happen Val how did you deal with this?"

"I didn't at least not in the way I should have and please no one judge me but the next day I hardly made it to school so I left school early and when I got home you and Ryan had left alcohol and drugs behind. So, I started drinking to a point where I would blackout all thoughts, but there was a point in which the alcohol no longer was enough for me. I needed to numb out the pain and instead of telling someone I found the pills you and Ryan had been taking and I crushed them up after that I snorted till I got really high, at first the feeling was weird and foreign to me. However, it eventually became euphoric for me and became a way to ease the pain so I mixed the alcohol and pills, but eventually I was worried about overdosing so I stopped taking Oxy and instead started smoking weed. I was becoming addicted and I wanted more so I got some speed from the streets and took that however after five days or so I realised I had to stop using so I weaned myself off of drugs but I couldn't wean off of the alcohol. Eventually aunt Addison found me she got me sober and aunt Charlotte took me to AA meeting but up until now no one knew about the drugs."

"Val, I'm sorry god I cannot believe that everything I did in L.A led you to a place where you needed to rely on drugs and alcohol for comfort, I'm sorry I was never there for you. When you needed me the most but I promise to make sure that from now on our life will change. I'll make sure to pay more attention and be a better a mother to the way I should have been from the beginning."

"Mum you and Ryan never made take the drugs yeah you both may have left them there but I choose to take them I made that choice, not you I should have known better I'm just glad I realised those mistakes before they ruined me."

"Alright Valentina why don't you explain to everyone how you felt when your mum went missing."

"Alright, when you and Ryan went missing the whole time I cried out of fear that I would lose the only parent I had. I didn't go to school during that period because I wanted to be around in case they told me you were dead but if you had of died I think I probably would have killed myself since at the time. I was in an extremely dark place in my life and the thought of you not being around that wasn't a life I wanted to live."

"Val when I hear you say this it only makes me realise how much I have failed you. I know you keep telling me not to feel guilty but I'm your mum and when I hear you say this I can't help but feel that way, however going forward I promise to make a difference to both of our lives."

Amelia embraced her daughter tighter than she ever had before it made her realise the consequences of her choices and she knew that from now on she had to put her children's interests first. So that none of them would ever find themselves in this dark place again, she wanted to make sure they would all move forward together.

"Alright how about we end the session here and tomorrow we can discuss a plan to help Valentina overcome the issues that she has gone through and hopefully put her on the right track."

 _Authors note: I hope you guys liked this chapter once again I apologies for the delay in uploading this chapter, let me know what you guys think as always xxx._


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